Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML
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Top comments
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
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Comments (117)
Allnightampm 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why'd they even let him in
ShatteredPulse 15
Yeah, because you have to be good to even try..
Allnightampm 18
In most scenarios, they'd probably have a bit of a test run per se, especially for an hour long gig. If this were open mic night, it would make more sense. Think from the company's perspective, if you have poor acts on stage, it'll deter the customers
socialproduct 19
Watching comedians bomb is still pretty entertaining. You should post on Youtube, Op.
Broadway_Vayne 32
You could always give him constructive criticism to help him improve OP.
cameosurgeon 16
I feel like this was extremely over exaggerated.
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
gracehi 33
Or maybe he should treat his son like an adult and give him sound career advice based on realty that will help him succeed rather than massage his ego and lead him down a path of failure.
fakedsincerity 32
I don't think saying his sons act made him feel "vaguely suicidal" is sound career advice. Just cruel. :/
gracehi 33
Perhaps not, 21, but neither is being "supportive of your soon no matter how bad his actions are."
gracehi 33
*son. Ducking Swype.
NoMapToBuy 14
#3 that's the worse thing to shoot your kid down and ruin their dreams of a job which is their passion. Life's to short and this is only the sons first time, he will need to learn from this and constructive feedback is key!
Demon_of_Light 27
I don't see why telling him the truth and being supportive are mutually exclusive. It will require some effort on OP's part to be more tactful and constructive, but there's no reason someone can't say, "Congratulations on your first gig. I really liked blah, blah, and blah about it. Here are some things I noticed about your performance that I think you should work on if you really want to pursue this:..." In fact, not only is it completely possible to be both honest and supportive, it has been done by so many people so many times before that they gave it a name: parenting.
tygerarmy 35
Stand up comedy is hard. Everyone sucks in the beginning. It's not that hard for the OP to be supportive, and tell his son to keep performing. He can only get better by continuing to perform.
kirasant 19
You can be honest without being cruel. OP seriously needs to get a grip if it was the kid's first gig. Of course he sucked, he's still learning. Morons like OP make it hard for anyone in a creative job to progress cus if you're not better than a famous person making piles of money on your first day, they think you should just quit. You should be proud of your son for making that first jump. Not demanding he be better than a pro (even a pro you don't like).
nityasomaiya 46
I agree with #3. As OP said, it was his first. She shouldn't worry, things could only go uphill from here... hopefully :)
NoMapToBuy 14
#5** ^^ My bad
rmllavaneras 19
No, he shouldn't. Being honest is better than letting someone crash and burn. If the OP tells his son he sucks (in a somewhat supportive manner), it might help him get better or quit to pursue something he's actually good at. Not everybody's meant to be good at what they like, they might suck at it. Enjoy watching comedy shows instead of bombing at your own.
tinycroc 10
Because the world so desperately needs more special snowflakes who can't possibly know they might not be good at something.
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
kozzard 17
If and only if they can trace it back to themselves, I'm fairly certain that since even the date that this was written isn't displayed, that would be really hard to do. Unless only one person in the country has performed for the first time in the past week minimum if not longer, it's way too hard to pinpoint who exactly this is about
MxAxRxCxO 30
Idk where you're looking, but I clearly see that it was posted on 4/13/15 at 10:23 am. Post origin - Manchester, United Kingdom Lol
kozzard 17
Date it was published on fml. Is that the day OP first submitted it online? Is that the day of the performance?
ScottLucky 18
I fully agree with you. This dad is just being a jerk!
michaelsted 9
Probably drop faster than his comedy career
ZombieSazza 34
The date it was published isn't necessarily the day it was written and submitted, this could have been written days ago. Manchester's quite a big place and will have quite a few comedy acts, it'd still be hard to pinpoint.
WeLikeIke 23
Damn, I think you should give him an audience POV before he pisses off the wrong people!
jacjax 10
Be honest and tell him before he embarrasses himself more!
Darkness_Hate 29
Tell him the truth like that he can improve his skills.
jazman195 20
But... I like Dane Cook haha
lulinator 40
You're not alone. He's great.
soulcrusher11 16
because Dane cook is a silly Lil bitch lol #awesome
Myo_fml 20
You're certainly one of the very few.
writerchic85 26
Instead of criticizing your son behind his back on a website you should be sitting him down and helping him figure out what worked and what didn't. I personally would be very hurt if my parent made fun of me online but didn't bother to be honest with me about my act.
gracehi 33
Hour do you know he wasn't honest with his son?
writerchic85 26
I don't. But it kind of sounds like he's a turd who would rather talk bad about him and poke fun of him than support him. Just going by the tone of the Fml.
VitalDistance 14
Tower one this is confidence skies are looking clear so far,very nice day for a fli-NEGATIVE WE ARE GOING DOWN REPEAT CONFIDENCE ONE IS GOING D-*KABOOM* Is what I'm imagining right now if your son reads this.
PePziNL 20
That was actually very clever, bravo :)
VitalDistance 14
Thank you! Although I believe I could've done better with the execution haha.