By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 932
You deserved it 6 656

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You didn't say HOW you were gonna make people laugh, so I say you succeeded in doing exact what comedians are supposed to do!

I suppose you've mastered the art of the...spit-take.

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You didn't say HOW you were gonna make people laugh, so I say you succeeded in doing exact what comedians are supposed to do!

Exactly. I like op's unorthodox methods.

exactly. ...just say that it was part of the show

Exactly 17... Just copy what the last two people just inferred.

\ 28

Suck your teeth and swallow before you talk to minimize spitting... A wise friend taught me that.

I suppose you've mastered the art of the...spit-take.

Another meaning of spit-take..

I guess you're like Gallagher without the sledgehammer.

Well that's mortifying. I wouldn't be able to continue if I were you...

excellent user name, sylvester.

You mean...exthellent uthername Thylvester!

I guess you were the SPITTING image of a comedian on stage..

Who is "they?" You'd better fix that problem -- guys prefer girls that don't spit . . . if you know what I mean ;)

Hahah you made it rain! What a baller.

I'm sorry OP but that really is funny I would have laughed too.