FML : Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was...

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Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray / Wednesday 17 July 2013 10:06 / United States - Pearl City

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Top comments

By BubbleGrunge | 18

#5584855 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:29

You didn't say HOW you were gonna make people laugh, so I say you succeeded in doing exact what comedians are supposed to do!

By VasiIisa | 5

#5584857 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:30

I suppose you've mastered the art of the...spit-take.

Comments

By BubbleGrunge | 18

#5584855 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:29

You didn't say HOW you were gonna make people laugh, so I say you succeeded in doing exact what comedians are supposed to do!

Reply

RoboCunnilingus | 23

#5584890 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:51

Exactly. I like op's unorthodox methods.

Reply

chabelo | 10

#5584929 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 05:44

exactly. ...just say that it was part of the show

Reply

quontag | 15

#5584992 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 06:44

Exactly 17... Just copy what the last two people just inferred.

Reply

Booda_Shun | 28

#5586076 - Thursday 18 July 2013 12:02

Suck your teeth and swallow before you talk to minimize spitting... A wise friend taught me that.

By VasiIisa | 5

#5584857 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:30

I suppose you've mastered the art of the...spit-take.

By LaLince | 40

#5584858 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:31

Another meaning of spit-take..

By perdix | 29

#5584871 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:33

I guess you're like Gallagher without the sledgehammer.

By olpally | 32

#5584873 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:35

Well that's mortifying. I wouldn't be able to continue if I were you...

By RedPillSucks | 30

#5584874 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:35

excellent user name, sylvester.

Reply

TourettesGuyFTW | 25

#5584941 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 05:52

You mean...exthellent uthername Thylvester!

By Confused77 | 3

#5584880 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:38

I guess you were the SPITTING image of a comedian on stage..

By perdix | 29

#5584881 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:39

Who is "they?" You'd better fix that problem -- guys prefer girls that don't spit . . . if you know what I mean ;)

By cosicosei | 22

#5584889 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:50

Hahah you made it rain! What a baller.

By awkward611 | 26

#5584894 - Wednesday 17 July 2013 04:54

I'm sorry OP but that really is funny I would have laughed too.

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