Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
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Top comments
By
sarah6786
| 14
Never trust birds
By
sidewaysponytail
| 0
Still a better love story than twilight.
COMMENTS
By
haydenestrada
| 6
Ahah
Reply
TheGianaJinx
| 0
You gotta love birds.
Reply
allie2590
| 30
Clearly only a scholar could come up with a comment this intelligent.
Reply
gc327072
| 29
I would've expected something this bad to come from Petepoop.
Reply
IQuicklyEscalate
| 0
What a parabitch…
Reply
nelds
| 12
Sorry 78, but I couldn't help but laugh while reading your comment
Reply
tabbycat2007
| 22
I feel sorry for you Jake. Birds are the devil.
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
Is anyone else curious as to why OP only had one single clean shirt?
Reply
walmartpaysme
| 15
88- yes, but I assume he was either too poor to afford to wash it or too lazy.
Reply
TrollRoaster
| 0
78- that is why i never walk under trees. @[email protected] theyre everywhere...
Reply
PinkieKeen
| 20
That bird seems to like OP a lot
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wholikesbacon
| 9
What an original comment!
By
sarah6786
| 14
Never trust birds
Reply
hopsinlove17
| 26
Birds are pretty viscous and smelly. Not good companions:(
Reply
CaptainDoorknob
| 7
It should've been in a cage.
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TellMeWhatsDeath
| 14
yes but it's considered good luck when a bird shuts on you.
Reply
TellMeWhatsDeath
| 14
20-shits*
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perdix
| 29
#6, I think you mean "vicious," not "viscous." Viscous describes a thick fluid like honey or syrup. Perhaps, you could put the bird in a blender and make it viscous, but you probably mean vicious, as in evil and nasty.
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hopsinlove17
| 26
24- oh goodness, how embarrassing! I'll remember to proof my comments closely next time(:
Reply
njgohard
| 16
24-Considering what happened to OP's hand, I don't think that's a good idea.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
I'm sure the poop was viscous.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#42, and smelly.
Reply
FirstTigerHobbes
| 13
24- The more you know
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sheethapins
| 13
2... The comment + the pic = bahaha.
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TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Birds ARE pretty viscous - around the Gulf of Mexico...
Reply
xx000o
| 27
#6 You are so wrong. It's obvious you have never spent any time around them.
Reply
cheshireau
| 26
I trust birds more than I trust people. And Op, if you weren't comfortable, you should have told her. Maybe asked to have it on your hand
By
bebefer
| 8
Your sister should pay for your medical bills.
Reply
nukeacat
| 9
Agreed
Reply
ThePsyche
| 9
I bet that bitch ain't getting any crackers now! Huh Polly?!
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Well, you know that well known saying - "a bird in the hand.... will tear it the fuck up".
Reply
dhall30
| 8
Australia has tax funded healthcare system no need for the sister to pay for medical bills. Nonetheless she should do something about the shirt and maybe recuperation in some form.
By
tehhboss
| 6
Was it a falcon?
Reply
kimg0885
| 23
^darn I should have got a falcon. I bet state farm got it for her because of all the money she saved from switching.
By
sidewaysponytail
| 0
Still a better love story than twilight.
Reply
xblair
| 11
got something new?
Reply
loserboii
| 11
Think 5 is beating the dead horse?
Reply
Zano23
| 9
Or the soon to be dead bird.
Reply
windfuelsfire
| 10
This is getting overused
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
101 - no it ain't
By
failgamer
| 7
What the hell kinda bird was it?
Reply
dressedskeleton
| 10
The kind of bird you really shouldn't fuck around with.
Reply
loserboii
| 11
That sounds like every kind of bird to me 30.
Reply
Scarshadow101
| 6
What about a chick?
Like, a little chicken? ...maybe they can get pissed too.
And then bake you a cake with a frowsy face on it.
Like, a little chicken? ...maybe they can get pissed too.
And then bake you a cake with a frowsy face on it.
By
thewiseguy13
| 0
I find it hilarious when people think they can say whatever they want with no consequences this is not FB. YDI
Reply
AznSamoan52
| 10
Wrong FML, sir/ma'am.
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thewiseguy13
| 0
FML
Reply
llamafish
| 25
Guys, clearly you're missing the point of this FML. OP obviously must have said something to offend the bird, thus causing such a response. He then left out that key detail to make himself look like victim here. Just gotta read between the lines, folks.
By
babalooisbabaloo
| 5
Woah! They have synchronized bladder cycles!!!
By
rachelnam
| 5
You can cross off being a pirate from your list of life long dreams.
Reply
rattusrattus
| 18
Yarr, a pirate life be hard, arr.
By
crazytiger16
| 8
Thanks for letting me know birds don't make good pets!
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Warmonger_Smurf
| 29
They make good pets. Some don't like new people as much. My Sun Conure is very friendly, to any one.
Reply
thrAsHeRr9081
| 16
Now that's an unfair assumption! Birds are freaking awesome!
Reply
emag_eht
| 18
That is so not true. If you're basing this on the fact that they bite then you can argue that for most animals.
It takes birds time to adjust to people and if you just thrust your hand in its face then it'll get scared and try to defend itself.
Birds do poop quite a bit but it's really easy to clean if it's just regular poop (as opposed to diarrhea which is still easy to clean ) compared to bigger animals which you have to scoop up or fish where you have to clean their entire tank. Bird poop doesn't stink as much either.
Also have you ever heard of Einstein the African Grey Parrot? It lived For a long time and it could say so many things in reply to its trainer.
If a bird really loves you it will probably let you pet it like you could pet a cat or a dog. It will also be more willing to speak in front of you and it wouldn't bite you when you try to take it off your shoulder.
I'm not trying to say anything other than birds is a bad choice but I think people just think "omg they bite" when dogs, cats, and reptiles do that as well. Them having to poop a lot is also not such a big deal since its easy to clean and you can put them on a perch with newspapers underneath so they wont poop on the floor.
I own two birds and my house doesn't even smell like them. Also the last time I got bitten was maybe 4-5 months ago when I was holding him and he almost fell off because I tripped.
Sorry for the long post.
It takes birds time to adjust to people and if you just thrust your hand in its face then it'll get scared and try to defend itself.
Birds do poop quite a bit but it's really easy to clean if it's just regular poop (as opposed to diarrhea which is still easy to clean ) compared to bigger animals which you have to scoop up or fish where you have to clean their entire tank. Bird poop doesn't stink as much either.
Also have you ever heard of Einstein the African Grey Parrot? It lived For a long time and it could say so many things in reply to its trainer.
If a bird really loves you it will probably let you pet it like you could pet a cat or a dog. It will also be more willing to speak in front of you and it wouldn't bite you when you try to take it off your shoulder.
I'm not trying to say anything other than birds is a bad choice but I think people just think "omg they bite" when dogs, cats, and reptiles do that as well. Them having to poop a lot is also not such a big deal since its easy to clean and you can put them on a perch with newspapers underneath so they wont poop on the floor.
I own two birds and my house doesn't even smell like them. Also the last time I got bitten was maybe 4-5 months ago when I was holding him and he almost fell off because I tripped.
Sorry for the long post.
Reply
SApprentice
| 33
60- I actually think that Arnold the African Grey was more impressive.
Reply
SApprentice
| 33
63- Excuse me, I meant Alex, not Arnold.
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thrAsHeRr9081
| 16
My profile picture is my now 1 1/2 year old Congo African Grey Toph when she was 2 months old. :-)