By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
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  perdix  |  29

#6, I think you mean "vicious," not "viscous." Viscous describes a thick fluid like honey or syrup. Perhaps, you could put the bird in a blender and make it viscous, but you probably mean vicious, as in evil and nasty.

  dhall30  |  8

Australia has tax funded healthcare system no need for the sister to pay for medical bills. Nonetheless she should do something about the shirt and maybe recuperation in some form.

  llamafish  |  25

Guys, clearly you're missing the point of this FML. OP obviously must have said something to offend the bird, thus causing such a response. He then left out that key detail to make himself look like victim here. Just gotta read between the lines, folks.

  emag_eht  |  18

That is so not true. If you're basing this on the fact that they bite then you can argue that for most animals.

It takes birds time to adjust to people and if you just thrust your hand in its face then it'll get scared and try to defend itself.

Birds do poop quite a bit but it's really easy to clean if it's just regular poop (as opposed to diarrhea which is still easy to clean ) compared to bigger animals which you have to scoop up or fish where you have to clean their entire tank. Bird poop doesn't stink as much either.

Also have you ever heard of Einstein the African Grey Parrot? It lived For a long time and it could say so many things in reply to its trainer.

If a bird really loves you it will probably let you pet it like you could pet a cat or a dog. It will also be more willing to speak in front of you and it wouldn't bite you when you try to take it off your shoulder.

I'm not trying to say anything other than birds is a bad choice but I think people just think "omg they bite" when dogs, cats, and reptiles do that as well. Them having to poop a lot is also not such a big deal since its easy to clean and you can put them on a perch with newspapers underneath so they wont poop on the floor.

I own two birds and my house doesn't even smell like them. Also the last time I got bitten was maybe 4-5 months ago when I was holding him and he almost fell off because I tripped.

Sorry for the long post.