By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 309
You deserved it 2 551

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Never trust birds

Woah! They have synchronized bladder cycles!!!

Comments

You gotta love birds.

Clearly only a scholar could come up with a comment this intelligent.

I would've expected something this bad to come from Petepoop.

What a parabitch…

Sorry 78, but I couldn't help but laugh while reading your comment

I feel sorry for you Jake. Birds are the devil.

Is anyone else curious as to why OP only had one single clean shirt?

88- yes, but I assume he was either too poor to afford to wash it or too lazy.

78- that is why i never walk under trees. @[email protected] theyre everywhere...

That bird seems to like OP a lot

What an original comment!

Never trust birds

Birds are pretty viscous and smelly. Not good companions:(

It should've been in a cage.

yes but it's considered good luck when a bird shuts on you.

#6, I think you mean "vicious," not "viscous." Viscous describes a thick fluid like honey or syrup. Perhaps, you could put the bird in a blender and make it viscous, but you probably mean vicious, as in evil and nasty.

24- oh goodness, how embarrassing! I'll remember to proof my comments closely next time(:

24-Considering what happened to OP's hand, I don't think that's a good idea.

I'm sure the poop was viscous.

#42, and smelly.

24- The more you know

2... The comment + the pic = bahaha.

Birds ARE pretty viscous - around the Gulf of Mexico...

#6 You are so wrong. It's obvious you have never spent any time around them.

I trust birds more than I trust people. And Op, if you weren't comfortable, you should have told her. Maybe asked to have it on your hand

Your sister should pay for your medical bills.

I bet that bitch ain't getting any crackers now! Huh Polly?!

Well, you know that well known saying - "a bird in the hand.... will tear it the fuck up".

Australia has tax funded healthcare system no need for the sister to pay for medical bills. Nonetheless she should do something about the shirt and maybe recuperation in some form.

Was it a falcon?

^darn I should have got a falcon. I bet state farm got it for her because of all the money she saved from switching.

Still a better love story than twilight.

got something new?

Think 5 is beating the dead horse?

Or the soon to be dead bird.

This is getting overused

101 - no it ain't

What the hell kinda bird was it?

The kind of bird you really shouldn't fuck around with.

That sounds like every kind of bird to me 30.

What about a chick? Like, a little chicken? ...maybe they can get pissed too. And then bake you a cake with a frowsy face on it.

I find it hilarious when people think they can say whatever they want with no consequences this is not FB. YDI

Wrong FML, sir/ma'am.

Guys, clearly you're missing the point of this FML. OP obviously must have said something to offend the bird, thus causing such a response. He then left out that key detail to make himself look like victim here. Just gotta read between the lines, folks.

Woah! They have synchronized bladder cycles!!!

You can cross off being a pirate from your list of life long dreams.

Yarr, a pirate life be hard, arr.

Thanks for letting me know birds don't make good pets!

They make good pets. Some don't like new people as much. My Sun Conure is very friendly, to any one.

Now that's an unfair assumption! Birds are freaking awesome!

That is so not true. If you're basing this on the fact that they bite then you can argue that for most animals. It takes birds time to adjust to people and if you just thrust your hand in its face then it'll get scared and try to defend itself. Birds do poop quite a bit but it's really easy to clean if it's just regular poop (as opposed to diarrhea which is still easy to clean ) compared to bigger animals which you have to scoop up or fish where you have to clean their entire tank. Bird poop doesn't stink as much either. Also have you ever heard of Einstein the African Grey Parrot? It lived For a long time and it could say so many things in reply to its trainer. If a bird really loves you it will probably let you pet it like you could pet a cat or a dog. It will also be more willing to speak in front of you and it wouldn't bite you when you try to take it off your shoulder. I'm not trying to say anything other than birds is a bad choice but I think people just think "omg they bite" when dogs, cats, and reptiles do that as well. Them having to poop a lot is also not such a big deal since its easy to clean and you can put them on a perch with newspapers underneath so they wont poop on the floor. I own two birds and my house doesn't even smell like them. Also the last time I got bitten was maybe 4-5 months ago when I was holding him and he almost fell off because I tripped. Sorry for the long post.

SApprentice 34

60- I actually think that Arnold the African Grey was more impressive.

SApprentice 34

63- Excuse me, I meant Alex, not Arnold.

My profile picture is my now 1 1/2 year old Congo African Grey Toph when she was 2 months old. :-)