Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Now you see him...now you don't.
jnanderson 16
I guess that's what they call black humor.
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Comments (127)
worldclassrager 41
A quick color change...get well soon...
pussymonster_xx 8
13 year old boys are dumb and do stupid stuff, but you couldnt really expect that to happen. FYL
outoftown 27
Concealer helps as make-up and as part of your payback strategy. When you go after the family favorite, you have to be sneaky. Good luck with both uses!
SupremeLeader00 9
Embarrass him in front of girls and his friends, that'll teach him
Readoll 13
Strip him naked and throw his ass outside then tell your mother you didn't know any better...
dachayke 16
You need help...
booda44 7
Hell yeah get some mates to help burn his clothes while your at it
weveallbeenthere 30
you should have tackled him and dragged him around.
TXFernwoods 26
Punch that ****** back!
sanecatlady 13
He's 13, not some infant! Call the police or something because there's actually a thing called sibling abuse, and your parents are utter morons for letting him get away with hurting you. FML indeed.
dachayke 16
Siblings fight. It happens. And despite the fact that punching OP was beyond a dick move and totally uncalled for, she hopefully loves her brother and wouldn't want him to be taken away.
aire101 16
Maybe, but he also needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions. And obviously their parents aren't interested in teaching him that.
dachayke 16
But sending him to juvy is kinda harsh, don't you think?
aire101 16
Depends on if violence is a regular occurrence from him or if this was a one time stupid move.
dachayke 16
If violence was recurring, then why would OP just randomly post now? And even if it is, all of the shit that you have to go through with court could tear a family apart. Counseling or boot camp would be a better idea, since OP's parents are complete idiots who are incapable of raising a child.
Axel5238 29
This maybe be one instance of it starting, but kids that generally think stuff like this is funny generally tend to surround themselves with people that find this stuff funny and don't see much wrong with it. My older brother( 4yrs older I think I was 8 at the time) kicked me, I slapped him so hard across the face for kicking me in the stomach he cried. Then I yelled tat he kicked me of course he got in trouble. He learned early on there were consequences for hitting me. Boundaries have to be made some at that point some just have a cruel sense of humor and the internet doesn't exactly help to get kids away from cruel or childish humor and a lot of instances makes it worse since they don't think they will get in trouble/don't care.
aire101 16
#73 I'm not sure where you live, but if it's anything like where I am in my part of the US, you can't get in to juvy for something like this- they're too back logged with how many kids that need to go in. There is an actual waiting list. what turning something like this in to someone with authority would end up doing would probably involve court mandated therapy, which would force the parents to deal with the kid. and just bc he hasn't been violent like this with his sister before doesn't mean he doesn't have a history of violence outside the home. First option? No. But it certainly is one depending on how the circumstance plays out.
Thunderstruck14 30
You can love someone who abuses you, the thing is you should love yourself too and protect yourself from harm, even if it means separating yourself from a loved one who hurts you. It doesn't mean you don't love that person anymore; it just means that they keep hurting you and its not okay.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
The struggle
EvilLittleMan 23
Punk his little punk ass but wait for quite a while when his guard is down. When the time finally arrives and he resists, beat the living daylights out of him.