Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Now you see him...now you don't.
jnanderson 16
I guess that's what they call black humor.
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Comments (127)
harshallmeim69 9
tell him you will make him disappear....
whothewhat 4
That's how you get taken away with a crazy ass idea like that good one 57
awilliams44 9
sounds like me and my little brother. he gets away with being so rude to me.
cnparks1990 9
oh dear god hes the same age as me :/
Flaminrazor 10
I can't even..
Never_Land 10
Are we just not going to talk about that tittle NAND though? "cuntocracy" haha good one Op
FML_Elle 17
Younger siblings seem to get away with more, even if there's not a really big age gap :/
chosha_fml 27
Nice parenting skills. Will they still be laughing it off when he gets expelled from school for showing that trick to someone else?
Pixonator 1
let me guess he said bam you have a black eye.....
stfudonnie 10
tell him you know the best disappearing trick...when he says he wants to see...kick him in the balls swiftly...and say see, they disappeared!
skyeyez9 25
He has such disrespect towards females now, that he thinks nothing about abusing them, imagine him in another 5-10 years.
dachayke 16
Just because he hit his sibling, who just happened to be a girl does not mean he disrespects all females. And besides, if men and women are equal, there's no difference between hitting a guy and hitting a girl.
aire101 16
In that same logic I suppose it's the same to hit a cripple? They all had it coming, right? Bottom line is this- as human beings, yes we are equal. Our rights and responsibilities should be equal. Women should not hit men anymore that men should hit women. But typically men are physically superior to women in terms of strength. The brother may or may not yet be bigger than his sister, but he needs to be taught now that you don't hit women bc they can't take punches like guys can. I've seen guys do stupid stuff like this to their friends and just roll with it, but not many girls take being manhandled well.