Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Well, clearly he brought you there to show you the importance of personal hygiene.
kahaari 0
three words? clean. your. vag.
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Comments (309)
Backburner 0
@204 well here it is ok the population of the World is ~6,706,993,152 ill make the reasonable assumption of a 1:1 male to female ratio therefore there are ~3,353,496,576 women in the World Using these women in the world are being beaten, tortured, raped, or killed: - 0.003 times EACH second - 0.018 times EACH minute - 1.07 times EACH hour - 25.68 times EACH day - 9403.9 times EACH year still #23 WTF... 25 times each day, most men would a) get bored after a 2 weeks or so or b) not be able to keep it up that long anyways
Dragodon64 0
No human who could obtain a job and purchase/use a computer could believe what jandersonii does, so just ignore it. I personally don't mind the fish smell at all; If he can say it seductively and find it acceptable to say to his girlfriend he's prolly in the same boat.
chazstah 0
well.. all i gotta say is.. FETISH ALERT?!! might wanna keep a few fish handy in the fridge case he goes off the hook ;D
Shoni_fml 0
personally i think jandersonii has never had an ****** and so doesnt understand how sex could be enjoyable. and honestly by now i think its just someone cramming as much bullshit as possible into their posts to see how many people they can piss off cuz i hope someone that dense and close minded doesnt actually exist.
RoguePenguin 0
Sounds like jandersoniii has a PhD in bullshit to me. What a hilarious troll. People get mad about feeding trolls but it makes for the most interesting threads. I still want to say this. Just because someone came up with a theory or a philosophy about heterosexual sex being rape and you had to study it doesn't make their extremely sick opinion an indisputable fact. Philosophy isn't science. I don't care if you have ten PhDs; your opinion is still just an opinion.
Shizden 0
9's post is full of win! Everybody is saying clean your vag. Im a guy and Ive got a boyfriend. Gays are always left out :( . And Jandersoniii wtf? Males oppressing females and females Cant stand up for themselves? Bull Shit. Ive got lady friends that could kick my ass. And only women get pregnate? Theres a transgendered male out there who was pregnate. He was on Oprah. :)
Shmoopie4 0
Wow, everyone on this thread is f-ing retarded.
wrenched 0
I don't think 10 million people in the US alone are beaten, raped, or tortured every second...that seems like a bit of an overestimation, seeing as how the population of the country is only about 300 million...
Paige_Nicole10 0
ew go wash yourself. they do make deodorants.
RoguePenguin 0
Okay seriously guys Here's the last thing that jandersoniii said: "yea why do you think there are only 3 billion women its because six trillion are killed every second! spread the word" Either it was all a joke or someone hacked the account and started posting crazy stuff. Either way someone is laughing at you now.