By honey, no boo-boo - 12/11/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 183
You deserved it 5 574

Same thing different taste


es3508 16

He just wants to remind her that she's his baby XD

PerditaDessa 38

Weird but becoming rather common. Over 50,000 people showed up to the nappy part of fet con last year.

#163 There's a nappy con (or at least a section devoted to it)? What has this world come to...

PerditaDessa 38

That's one of the more conservative fetishes that has a large turn out. If you think that one means the world has gotten off-drift it's probably already gone to hell in a hand basket.

8, isn't it just using the fact that "needs" was in brackets in the FML?

kristabelli 19

Let's get our terminology correct - it wasn't in brackets, it was in quotation marks. ;)

you should definitely let him break up with you.

There are worse things, but that's still pretty weird. I'm sorry about that OP. Hopefully you guys can make a compromise!

Like... he wears one too? He seems pretty dead-set on her wearing a diaper, if he's using their relationship against her...

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Every one has a turn on, 48. That doesn't automatically mean you should leave your partner because someone might find a fetish you have odd. But op probably would be better off leaving him for using their relationship against her like that, because that's just really immature.

When i read "compromise" in this comment, I was thinking "what? She wears a pull-up instead of a diaper?"

Yeah, no. That's a deal breaker right there.

I never undetstand why people act like fetishes are a bad thing they are not. Him threatning her because she wont do it is a bad thing. but everyone has a fetish and say you are with someone and tou ask them to tell them your fetish and you tell them and if u act like you are disgusted or laugh, you just hurt someone you care about a lot because they trusted you enough to not judge them. However, you should always be able to say no to a fetish, sorry OP he should not threaten to leave you over not wanting to do it.

PerditaDessa 38

"Trauma as a child causes fetishes or phobias." It's not the person's fault for what they like. Of course, they could never voice what they're into and not be completely satisfied, but for a relationship to work one must be able to communicate on all levels. Diaper fetishes aren't my particular cup of tea but if someone I was with told me it was the only way they could enjoy sex I wouldn't tell them it's disgusting. I'd be hesitant but would probably give it a go. If the fetish ruins sex for you then the relationship doesn't need to continue. You're not comparable. Sex may not be the most important thing in a relationship but it is important. Op's lad should have approached the subject differently but he has the right idea. Why waste time with someone who you know doesn't do it for you?

I am with #4, thats a deal breaker! First he threatened to leave you if you dont, thats bad. Second, how far will that go?? I dont want to say anyone with that fettish could be a pedophile, but shit you never know. I was abused as a child so it's hard for me not to see things like being turned on by diaper as a huge flashing red flag. Its just a risk I wouldnt take with my babies.

PerditaDessa 38

Typically speaking, people who have diaper fetishes or are into baby play were also abused as children or went through some horrific event. Trauma leading to phobias makes sense to a lot of people but it can also lead to intense sexual attraction or distaste when one is older. The person who has a diaper fetish isn't attracted to children. It's the actual diaper that gets them going. People into baby-play also don't like children. They're actually less likely to want kids of their own. They like the experience of being a baby or being the one to powder or feed the person who is pretending to be one. The sexual desire from the acts is an added element onto attraction that already exists for the people involved. Pedophiles are typically rather normal people, aside from their sexual preferences, and those preferences are usually conservative outside of the age group involved. I looked and could not find a single case of a pedophile with a known diaper fetish. I'm not saying that one person on this planet isn't afflicted with both, but the likelihood is incredibly small. It's an unfortunate correlation that people tend to put on that fetish but there is no causation involved.

This fetish is in no way related to pedophilia. Please do some research and I hope you come to see that it is one of the most harmless fetishes out there. Thank you.

Sorry, but most of the ABDL community I know we're not abused as kids and this is not something born out of abuse. No concrete studies or evidence has been presented to show why this fetish shows up in life. Thank you.

claysculpture 9

have to agree - dealbreaker. Most fetishes are fine, but this one's just gross.

cadillacgal79 32

Personally, I would just break it off, that's a little odd....

fetishes are all good an well!! each to their own... its that hes blackmailing her into doing it thats 'wrong'

Yes, and afterwards a woman used hime to cut in line...

HeadlessSparrow 20

have him suck on a pacifier if you have to satisfy his "need!"

RecklessLove 18

I think he'd rather her suck on HIS "pacifier".

Did you break up with him for being misogynistic?

So having a fetish and wanting to act out fantasies makes you misogynistic now?

It's not about having a fetish, it's about the fact that she has to satisfy his needs whether she wants to or not, that it's like a breaking point for the relationship

#23, of course, threatening to break up with her over something so admittedly minor was immature as ****, but don't try to blame this on misogyny. The dude was probably just upset that he didn't get what he wanted, he was being selfish and needy, that's it. Nothing about this has anything to do with deeply seeded sexism, I guarantee you.

Then I call for a follow-up, there's not enough info to make an informed opinion because the wording to me sounds like the only deciding factor in their relationship was her acting to his will. Also, seated*

Looks like my comment has 3 down votes already. I'll just sit back and watch as the comment gets immediately judged and mass disliked. Not even gonna bother keeping this going. Edit: wow, that turned around rather quickly.

Shadowvoid 33

Then by your own words, #31, there is not enough info or context to declare this as misogyny. It sounds more like the girlfriend doesn't buy into the guy's weird fetish.

If this FML was that the boyfriend was threatening a breakup if she didn't satisfy his need for sex once/twice a day, would he not be considered misogynistic then? Why did I get down voted so hard? Ffs...

...except that's not what the FML was about. "Bitch, hop on my dick while wearing a diaper or you'll be out on the street" is misogynistic. "I have needs, baby, I don't know if this relationship will work if you can't **** me with a diaper on" is just manipulative and the slightest bit pathetic. Those two phrases and everything in between could have been said, we don't know for sure and it's not implied in the least. Point being, we can't assume he's a misogynist based on the limited information we have. We *CAN* assume that OP is weirded out by his fetish and chose to walk when faced with an ultimatum.

If not misogyny, at the very least, it is sexism

By no means is there any sexism within the post. Immaturity, certainly. All we know for sure is that he implied the relationship wouldn't work based on her lack of desire to fulfill his fantasy. Anything else is grasping at straws.

Fine internet, you win. I give up If the only thing maintaining a relationship is keeping his sexual desires satiated and that doesn't count as misogyny or sexism, so be it

Shadowvoid 33

#31, in the words of some guy I passed on the streets,"Nigga, you tryin' too hard."

So if she wanted him to wear a diaper, would you consider it misandrony? A fetish is a sexual desire or intense interest. If a gay man or a lesbian has a fetish, are they being sexist?

How many times do I have to say it's nothing to do with it being a fetish? I even made an example that had nothing to do with any fetishes I'm calling it misogyny because he's saying she has to do it or they can't be a couple anymore

#133: I'm fairly sure that the boyfriend was just using the break up as a hyperbolic, manipulative empty threat in a shallow attempt to get what he wants. I kinda doubt he was gonna go through with it.

#133 But there's no evidence he's doing that because she is female. He could have just as easily required that of a boyfriend if he were gay. He's demanding and manipulative, but not necessarily sexist.

sexism has nothing to do with this, please dont throw around words when you dont understand them

it doesn't seem like her "needs" get satisfied. telling someone that they have to do something or something "bad" is going to happen can be sexist. well, it shouldn't be called sexist, it should have to do with gender. sexism is essentially going off of the common stereotypes of men and women. women cook, clean, give birth, care for everyone, makes her man ******. doesn't have a job. men work, take out the trash, yard work, get heavy stuff, get wife pregnant. And believing in that/making someone conform to that can be/is sexist.

152: This is not a gender problem. This is a control problem. Gender may be a component, but it is in NO WAY the main focus.

Minor _to you_ might not be minor to the OPs bf.

#164: was that in reply to the comment I left yesterday? You might want to put the comment's ID number at the beginning of your response to clarify that, next time.

I... Uh... Uh this makes me uncomfortable.

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Appears so, I get where he's coming from but he's got no right to force her into his fetish.