Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML
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Top comments
SwampNut 8
Hold the cheese!
ballerboy20 8
ask him if he wants a snack
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Comments (217)
cutiepie1991 4
It's his favorite thing to eat!
dasteve 0
At least he didn't say shredded pork.
sefie21 1
He's right, they look like a Arby's sandwich turned sideways.
camogirl 0
Careful! Those who are desperate and have never seen one might try jacking off to an Arbus sandwich! Hahahahaha
DocBastard 40
What the **** is wrong with you? Most women would KILL for a man who can crack a joke and eat them out (maybe not at the same time though). Yet you're upset because he has a sense of humour AND enjoys ***********? Try to appreciate what you have, you goddamned ingrate.
CrazyAsian77 5
Exactly, I would love a girlfriend whose favorite food was sausage!
CadillacPimpen 6
Sounds like you envy her 33....
MwahFMLS 6
Woah there! That's a little extreme.
BeastManzero 0
Doc, I read your blog about your picture And that's insane how close it was to spine and didnt hit it.
ohmandapants 17
Sounds like you haven't been on FML very long, 50.
wruch 6
Alan just won this
Enslaved 38
If it was "half-chewed" that means it was once in someone's mouth. Good deal!(:
Ray_of_midnight 23
Or the Armour.
ZKtheDuck 7
Honey glazed I bet
mismonroe 0
PICS or STFU.
HubbaBubba259_fml 0
Wtf is with all the asswipes saying pics or it didn't happen, or in this prick's case, STFU? Why don't you take your own advice, and go play hide-and-go-****-yourself, while we have a logical, big-boy conversation.
HubbaBubba259_fml 0
and yes everyone, I did quote that.
asmith2104 2
Canadian bacon?
Sanch101 7
Even worse crispy bacon.
Umadbro1224 0
I doubt he'll be eating that ham anytime soon
jobsman99 0
If her ****** reminds him of ham, I think he will be eating ham at the "Y" every day. I love to lick my gals pussy and suck on her clit just about every day. I hope they enjoy it too.
brianfantana32 10
I'm pretty sure that a ****** can't resemble ham, but if its his favorite food then it's ok
LibbieCelaya 0
I can't vote on it either because that's a good thing. A man who loves to eat you out. That's a good thing.