Love, Sleep and Jealousy: The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme *gone wrong*

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 420

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 607

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 827

You deserved it 3 871

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 3 551

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 84

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 324

You deserved it 734

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 297

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 6 979

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 990

You deserved it 5 275

By management - 21/02/2014 02:31 - United States

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 7 384

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 468

You deserved it 812

IHaveThePower 16

Monday 25 October 2021 23:28

That's a delusion. Your lack of sleep is causing psychosis--your brain is making up alternate realities. Please go to the ER and tell them this. You need a doctor.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 October 2021 23:14

You should have punched the ***** he was sleeping with! The bitch didn't even have the decency to wait for you to go to sleep before boning your man in your bed. The nerve!!!!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 October 2021 23:14

You should have punched the ***** he was sleeping with! The bitch didn't even have the decency to wait for you to go to sleep before boning your man in your bed. The nerve!!!!

electraliv 13

Wednesday 27 October 2021 11:17

HAHAHAHAA

IHaveThePower 16

Monday 25 October 2021 23:28

That's a delusion. Your lack of sleep is causing psychosis--your brain is making up alternate realities. Please go to the ER and tell them this. You need a doctor.