By highfive - 17/10/2014 01:27 - United States - Dedham

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 333
You deserved it 7 114

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Can you really give it "five" if it doesn't have a hand?

One word: Condom


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#1 unintentional pun?

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go back to fedora land, pleb.

SystemofaBlink41 27

I think it's some inside joke for himself, because I honestly have no clue.

incoherentrmblr 21

So, if you give your dick a high five, does that count as masturbating?...

Thats just weird. Period.

That's why the boyfriend was celebrating.

Can you really give it "five" if it doesn't have a hand?

I'm pretty sure my Johnson gets a hand or two ....

No part of the word "five" or even "high five" mentions hand.

No, but the "five" refers to a hand's five fingers.

whiteangel361 10

But it's not mandatory. How do you think people missing fingers do it? They still call it a high five.

Kyle1dc 17

am I the only one who pictures him twacking himself...

You can give it a high (low?) five, but cannot receive one in return.

#80, I am too. Like, does he just hit himself in the junk every 28 days or so?

One word: Condom

pwnman 33

maybe they dont like coloured penises. unless they get a transparent type

Unfortunately the condom is the least effective form of birth control. Two words: the pill.

than he has to high five with gloves...

52 only if you take it right. You have to take it at the same time every day, keep it stored at the proper temp, etc

diving_fml 30

shell want that as a number two with some other form of contraceptive.

Condoms can break. Always best to have a backup form of birth control, even then it's not 100%. Only way to be 100% sure of not getting pregnant is to not have sex, but that's just not fun!

Bullshit it's the least effective. Did you just make that up? It's more effective then diaphragms, withdrawal & the billings method. Only problem is condoms feel crap & no one wants to use them.

rocker_chick23 27

#52: Let my guess, you were taught abstinence only. That would explain your stupid, and totally false comment. FYI, some woman can't take the pill.

#91 - my jaw hit the floor when someone actually mentioned the Billings method by name...NEVER heard anyone outside of "fertility awareness" groups reference it...are you from Australia by chance?

Is that different in Australia?

The originators of that specific method were Australian...seems to be more well known there.

I'm 26yrs old, from Australia and I've never heard of this "Billings method". Someone please enlighten me?....

What's a con dom

I assume you guys are not using any protection, so he celebrates this way every single month. It is understandable.

iim pretty sure theyre using protection if he does it every single month... pretty sure the game would b up by now if not

I don't know... My mom frequently tells me that her and my dad used only the rhythm method and only ended up pregnant twice and when they wanted to be.

Pull out method worked with me and my ex for 2 years

pull out method worked for my friend. oh wait... it didn't...

the pullout method didn't work for my parents at least once...

Somehow, I think #7 should've pulled out, and not hit the validate button.

He probably thinks it's humorous. Give him an intervention and explain how that's really stupid.

oooor ignore it ;)

I think it's funny

I went on the POP so I no longer get periods, means no one gets to do silly celebrations. :)

cdawg69 10

Wow.. I bet so many people care :)

People may not care 85, but her comment is still relevant as she is commenting on something that works for her and therefore may also work for Op. :)

Hear, hear 101. At least #9 is taking responsibility for herself and being sex smart. Good on you #9!

& 85, I bet you (and so many people) would care, if you're throwing your end in willy nilly and 9mths later you're a daddy.

Tell him you're late and see what he does then.

martin8337 35

And not late for dinner.

Probably punch himself in the dick instead

@10 They won't see anything but a cloud of dust and an open door.

rekkas 16

If he stays, he's a keeper

Lol. That'll be interesting

Is he cramping your style or are you just ovary acting?

Hahaha aww you're pussy is ovary top on this pun . Please go easy one me .....

#11, Gross...

That was bad and I feel bad ....

Devildog, I think you should take a break from commenting. You're on a bad downvote streak and honestly you aren't making any sense...

agghhh 7

Wouldn't that hurt?

Step 1. Go online and buy a fake positive pregnancy test Step 2. Next month tell him you are late. Step 3. Show him the fake test. Step 4. watch him freak out and laugh your ass off!

Swandive235 27

You evil person you... lol. I'd want to see that.