Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
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Top comments
ccsmilvr 0
Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??
mrbattleman 10
maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf
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Comments (337)
Coacy 6
Armpit fetish? I thought I was the only one!
plasticspoon 0
This guy^
enonymous 8
I prefer nostril sex. Nothing like it
teague95 16
especially during allergy season..
QuisMysterium 4
12 - You must have one thin penis.
ellybelly_502 4
Kinky ;)
enonymous 8
It's not thin... Just really cold outside...
kings1fan 6
pencil dick!
GoodLookingGeese 10
Hey 41 - than wasn't nice! Since 4 yours we have to look with a microscope..
lionheart822 13
Have you ever used a microscope before? I mean you'd have to have the penis amputated to even look at it through the microscope lol.
sr101998 0
65- actually, you wouldn't need to amputate it exactly you'd just need to put it in the right spot. But what do I know I use them every day and don't experiment. Er umm, never mind
cosmosis 12
70 has the technique down pat. Much much practice... Maybe not every day, every 2nd Perhaps
changesinme 0
Ear sex?
zombicidal 11
I myself really dig jamming it in the belly button that's why outies are so unsexy
pottymouthpanda 0
ear o_o
dcg1375 7
I thought after regular, oral, and anal next came boobs. I would've never thought armpit next.
larry12693 1
you know what they say about ear sex though.... once you go black... you go deaf
its_love2 31
haha yeh exactly, what happened to boobs? or are they too small? if so that sucks
hpotte2 4
Yes please :)
jackgoldstein 5
Am I the only one who notices that she is using present tense?
zurisbloodyrose 0
I love Titty *******..
rawrisforsami 13
I totally agree, there is nothing like a nice tight belly button. So hot. :P
madz5758 10
Lol
aliceb2255 0
lololololololol.
TherealMort 0
Knee pit sex
ladiesman219 4
whats next, ear sex? hahaha
whited666 0
OP should use icyhot in place of lube next time, haha!
SkkyeMessor 0
lol there's a chatroulette troll who got some kid goood,....the troller pretended to be a girl and acted like his knee was a Vag 0.o
thatssomeBS 9
My 4th option was always a good solid titty-****.
Islander_fml 5
"Oh my God!! You're doing it.... IN THE EAR!!!!" ~Lois Griffin
ccsmilvr 0
Wow that does suck, but why would you let him do that in the first place ??
m0tl3ycru3 0
You can't say you don't like it untill you try it.
bamagrl410 31
How is your boyfriend tired of sex? He's male. And with 3 different options, I would think he'd be content. Am I missing something here?
Mr_SpaceMonkey 0
OP's bf is in denial.
DjeePee 24
19, he isn't tired of sex, otherwise he wouldn't be having sex with her armpit. He finds all the other not-armpit related positions boring, so clearly, he isn't content. The only thing I'm wondering right now is whether the OP truely wants this. If she's completely into this weird stuff, then there isn't the slightest problem. If she doesn't like it at all, well, maybe it's time for her to respect her boundaries and rethink about this relationship. Before she get a foot in her ass.
NinjaStar999 0
Come find me I won't get tired of anything. And I promise not to armpit **** you lol
jmalaer 5
Or 58, she could say "no" text time. She isn't his sex slave and can have boundaries, but not EVERYTHING has to result in people breaking up. This site is brutal for the suggestions and I've seen you recommend it like 50 times.
stinkFist232 3
Based on this guy's track record, chances are she's had a foot in her ass already. I still don't understand how you get bored of oral, vag and anal, though...good stuff....
docscientist 9
19 - Wonderful logic there. He's male, therefore he can't not want sex.
DjeePee 24
87, then you certainly must mistake me for someone else, because I only suggest the OP to dump his/her partner when I think it's the best solution. And to be honest, in this case, I think it is. I think her boyfriend is way to egocentric to deal properly with a 'no' from her side.
BDTony13 0
that's just weird and disgusting!
cradle6 13
104, I disagree. He's not egocentric. I think OP is too insecure about the relationship to tell her boyfriend that she's uncomfortable. She wants to make him happy at the expense of her own well being. Just my own speculation.
murdersquirrel 15
Frankly, 104, you cannot know what the best solution is because you don't know OP or her boyfriend or anything more than a blurb posted online about a situation taken out of context. So you don't need to be the relationship guru telling people whether or not to rethink their situation. No one here asked for that and while you're free to post what you want, the 'break up' solution in the real world would be a cop out.
DjeePee 24
'I think OP is too insecure about the relationship to tell her boyfriend that she's uncomfortable. She wants to make him happy at the expense of her own well being. ' I was also thinking of this, but the sentence: "my boyfriend decided" made me believe he is egocentric. The OP doesn't say: "Today, my boyfriend was tired of blablabla, so we decided to do blablabla", no, it looks like it's actually the boyfriend who decides what they're going to do. And while the OP should have spoken up for herself, it is much more easy to do so if your partner asks about your opinion, which I don't think her boyfriend did. And if your partner always plays the boss, it will be very difficult to stand up for yourself, because he isn't used to it. Therefore, my 'rethink about the relationship' (heck, rethinking =/= dumping) makes perfect sense. 146, I'm sorry, but the 'you're free to post whatever you want' and 'but you cannot post this' just doesn't go together.
bamagrl410 31
102 - I was being facetious
marcychick 0
Stalker
viticomanuel 0
Have I ever gotten penetrated in ur life?
EvilCupcake8361 9
Armpit fetish??
FrankHotpants 31
Wow, not sure how it gets boring but I'm sorry your boyfriend is looking for new places to do you in. Give him a foot job or something
juanaranda1015 4
Maybe they do it in the same positions every time they have sex so he gets bored of it.
LouisianaBob 9
I came here to ask if op was looking for suggestions.
JinxosGirl87 0
I think he should stick to his hand if he's only looking to get himself off, selfish prick :|
JennyBear101 0
One word for this girl: ewwwww
nciolfi 0
Ear sex
jalmanza2580 11
I'm thinking he's gay.. just bc those aren't doing it for him
mrbattleman 10
maybe ear sex? once you go black, you go deaf
bossroyd 4
OP should dump her boyfriend before he gets bored of her.
Snafuusmc 12
Is not true...
gatorclay97 28
Please, ear sex is amateur, nose sex is the shit
Calyx_fml 21
Try anal again... With a strap on.
AnwarK95 1
Yeah give him a taste of his own medicine!
sovietkiwi 0
Best comment I've ever read
bitchslapped22 14
I liked 6 and 20's comments
carlosantana0219 2
Yeah, get a huge ass strap on and **** him in the ass with it.
da_baddest_2011 0
Leg sex? Inner arm sex? Hmm the possibilities r endless lol
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Pretty sure two isn't endless.
ohmandapants 16
There are only so many places on the human body where you can stick a penis. The possibilities have an end.
Garytt 0
Titfuck
Meowingtons500 18
BELLY BUTTON SECKS! :D
witchdoctor1 9
Yea. The possibilities are endless. And so are the stupid comments
TheNewGuy03 28
201 -- it makes it easier for her to smell yo' dick. |the kid|
fluffy_nuggets 0
Don't shave your armpits and see how long he's into that position. Wait, never mind it's seems like he'd be into that also... 0.o
electrorange 13
Or shave it!! He'll enjoy the stubble rubbing on his **** head!!!
ImaginaryFoe 0
I found an old Joy of Sex in my parents' house. It recommended underarm sex. It was from the 70s and the drawings showed a woman completely untouched by razor.
Epikouros 31
#56 - Good thinking! That's why I try not to shave the morning before giving a *******. If a guy is not too sensitive, a bit of sandpaper will drive him wild.
Feklfekl2222 32
That's ermmm............................. Imaginative
teague95 16
your comment's definitely imaginative
sarahbear499 7
Did you really do that to your cat?
angeie7 6
hmm this is interesting... i would be asking questions though lol
TKmax 5
Like why would you post a comment like this.
Twisted_Angel 17
Maybe instead of letting him hump different parts of your body which clearly aren't going to leave you satisfied, you should just find a new boyfriend that knows how to make regular sex fun by trying to positions now and then.
ohmandapants 16
Exactly. It's pretty ******* selfish on his part. OP, it's not all about him.