Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I really wish people would get a clue and stop comparing sex to vibrators. They're two completely different things that give different form of stimulation. Toys are not replacements for actual sex.
CoachLlama 5
Headline - "Jealous lover tries to drown competition after getting bad vibe."
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Comments (169)
Draminicaus 0
I have to side with Djee on this one. I'm a guy, and that's some serious insecurity right there. The fact that he wanted to "eliminate the competition" says he thinks he's not good enough in bed and doesn't want her to prefer Mr. Jollyvibes over him.
caguilar21 0
Why would you buy an $80 vibrator??
Iknoweverything 29
OP, you DON'T show your boyfriend the vibrator! Hide it!
stellasue11 38
you dont hide it, you use it with him!!!
alexFYL 11
That's rude. You should cut his fingers off because he probably jacks off in the shower. Make sure you scream at him a lot and tell him, under no circumstances, is he EVER allowed to jack off. He always has to come to you for sex.
i_lol_at_life 12
If he's that paranoid, then get another one, make sure he knows, then make up a nice bath for the two of you... then pretend to drown him saying 'sorry, I don't want any competition.'
BDTM 0
nice ^
saxygurl 0
that's cute..ish.. ;) lol, YDI for wasting $80 on one, though.
bigwill722 0
LOL. He wants to be a monopoly.
Zebidee 9
I can't stop laughing at the idea of the Silver Bullet sex game! That's frickin' hilarious! Oh, and I wouldn't think $80 was insane. There's one here in Germany that won a government design award that costs *goes to site to check* €99, which is about five million US dollars these days. The most bizarre one I ever saw was the Japanese "Hello Kitty Personal Shoulder Massager".
alex1432 9
Brave brave fool...