Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I really wish people would get a clue and stop comparing sex to vibrators. They're two completely different things that give different form of stimulation. Toys are not replacements for actual sex.
CoachLlama 5
Headline - "Jealous lover tries to drown competition after getting bad vibe."
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Comments (169)
Waplesmonster 0
haha fail not you the man I bet he is a chick !! XD
EvilDave 13
I guess you shouldn't have made him feel so insecure.
ake072007 2
my boyfriend tells me the same thing but my toy isn't as expensive
silentscore 0
the way I see it as long as op prefers him for the most part then no big deal. maybe there is more to the story then waking up and no vibe
angel55033 12
shoulda gotten waterproof lol
Pbstealth 0
for all you ignorant people out there, as a male, i am not intimidated by a vibrator, no matter how expensive. if it works for her, great. foreplay is on. i have not been with a girl that finds her vibrator better than sex. yes sex better when it is started by a guy who knows how to work her vibrator. but it has always moved on from there guys should not fight it or see it as competition but see it as an allie.
Pbstealth 0
and for you girls that think that $80 is too much: 1 are you 18 yet? 2 have you ever tried a better quality vibrator because i have with my girlfriends and they say there is a difference. 3 are you just justifying your cheap friend like you justify having a cheap, unatractive boyfriend?
iGreen_Day 0
eighty dollars??? bloody hell
Mittle 0
that's so odd. why would you have a vibrator if you have a boyfriend. unless it's from back in the day.
franwins0827 7
#120 - For when he's not there, duh!
monnanon 14
Or for when she wants to have some alone time. Guys still ********** when they have girlfriends even if they are both completely fulfilled. Sometimes you just want to go at it alone.
payton3233 0
lol!!!