Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
I really wish people would get a clue and stop comparing sex to vibrators. They're two completely different things that give different form of stimulation. Toys are not replacements for actual sex.
CoachLlama 5
Headline - "Jealous lover tries to drown competition after getting bad vibe."
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Comments (169)
DjeePee 25
I would first suggest a serious talk. I think many of us know how horrible it feels to be insecure about little stupid things (like watching ****, be jealous at women with fake big boobs,or even at posters with sexy people, a vibrator...) I hate it to be insecure, but somethimes it just happens. And then you need to find a solution. To just make him immediatly buy another one won't solve the problem. Talking, maybe sex with him and a new vibrator that he bought...
Freeze_fml 17
What a waste of money.
Zombie65 0
Djee, as a guy speaking I believe his problem to be more one of jealousy if it truly isn't then may be right about the talk but since he acted first then decided to talk......
asktherunes 4
tell him to replace that one with a rabbit and to stop being an idiot
mzeemzima 0
why do u need a vibrator if you have a bf? is he that bad lol
purple91 8
YDI. Everyone knows the good (and waterproof) vibrators are $100 or more.
Judus_beej 0
good for him. a vibrator is still cheating ladies. just kidding. he's hung like an infant isn't he?
Leftieswillrule 3
ydi for 1) leaving your vibrator where an insecure boyfriend may see it often enough to make him insecure and drown it 2) for spending so much on a vibrator and 3) for keeping the vibrator out of storage when you have a boyfriend
Lancer_doosh 0
Maybe take out number one if you don't ****** pay attention when you read, he confessed to we that he was insecure, so she didn't know that at the time.. dumbass.
resplendencerino_fml 3
judging by your picture you're about 12. don't make ignorant comments on a subject you clearly know nothing about.
sourgirl101 29
I agree. So many close minded people. There are less threatening ones on the market. Ex: You could get the "Silver Bullet Pocket Rocket" and play " Underworld". Vampires VS Lycans.
jomotto 3
YDI for spending $80 on a vibrator that is not even waterproof ...