Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
Change your locks. He can buy his own coffee maker.
perdix 31
Sounds legit. As a fellow caffeine addict, this makes perfect sense to me. Sure, there's the heartache of losing you, but why should he suffer the caffeine-withdrawal headache, too? You may not be together anymore, but you still can grind with him ;)
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Comments (87)
pfquid 10
What a dumbass.
disney_blonde 16
You must have a Keurig. :)
OMJizzzle 2
Put a worm in the coffee machine.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
He can buy his own damn coffee maker.
Helldemon 32
That must be an amazing coffee maker.
AlexiAwesome 10
Tell him, that's what his next girlfriend is for. *NUDGE NUDGE*
Iclickalot 2
You know, with some work added, you can get soil to look like ground coffee.
sikunt89_fml 16
Store it away for a little while and tell him you sold it on ebay, then get it back out once he is out of your life.
KK3137 31
I'm sorry, I accidentally clicked YDI :/ that's really not fair, I'm sorry your ex is a douche :/
NurseAbi 10
What an asshole. Tell him you sold the machine.