Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
Change your locks. He can buy his own coffee maker.
perdix 31
Sounds legit. As a fellow caffeine addict, this makes perfect sense to me. Sure, there's the heartache of losing you, but why should he suffer the caffeine-withdrawal headache, too? You may not be together anymore, but you still can grind with him ;)
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Comments (87)
jem970 19
Tell that idiot to go to Starbucks. Change your locks.
klorehore 24
stay strong my fellow Norwegian! Don't let him take advantage of you, he can get his own coffee maker.
trixy12 5
By "coffee maker" do you mean...?
SystemofaBlink41 27
What other meaning could "coffee maker" have?
Atheepic 4
Take him to a starbucks, you don't have to let him use your coffee maker just make him go buy starbucks or his own coffee maker.
thatsdndn1 19
Sorry but ur ex bf is sucks!
pmadNess 16
Give him a going away gift of instant coffee. To make it an even better gift, make it decaf but put it in a container that reads regular! He'll never be the same...
Mylifemaysuck 6
Someone's a douche. Don't worry about it, OP cause he's just an insecure ass-hole. P.S. Don't let him use your coffee maker.
Mylifemaysuck 6
I thought money was, but that, too.
lizzy_babyy 9
Throw the damn coffee maker at his head.
RoseBlack123 37
Tell him to get his own. What a cheapscape