Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
Change your locks. He can buy his own coffee maker.
perdix 31
Sounds legit. As a fellow caffeine addict, this makes perfect sense to me. Sure, there's the heartache of losing you, but why should he suffer the caffeine-withdrawal headache, too? You may not be together anymore, but you still can grind with him ;)
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Comments (87)
MathildeDamm 17
Try putting chili in your coffee mascine without him knowing!
Jasper1405 16
That's does suck OP, laxatives in his coffee should be fun though.
error404n0tf0und 21
gotta love a cuppa!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I don't know... Those K-Cup Keurigs are pretty ******* awesome.
whostolemylama 12
At least he didn't ask to be friends with benefits, right? OT: Tell him to get the star bucks out, expresso. Bad puns are bad.
Petrichor_fml 7
But love is in most situations is better than an easily accessible product
amDes 11
My strangers name is Tim. Short for Tim Horton's ;)
simoncat 11
Give him a Starbucks card worth just less than the cheapest item, and send him on his way.
chanellgymnast 17
Cut him off. What an idiot.
maximus_prime 24
That's a bit extreme Lorena.
Petrichor_fml 7
Ahh well I understand the previous comment was somewhat vauge...