Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
Change your locks. He can buy his own coffee maker.
perdix 31
Sounds legit. As a fellow caffeine addict, this makes perfect sense to me. Sure, there's the heartache of losing you, but why should he suffer the caffeine-withdrawal headache, too? You may not be together anymore, but you still can grind with him ;)
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Comments (87)
MakinMills 12
that is just mean haha
SystemofaBlink41 27
That's one hell of a coffemaker you got there...
alphawolf12397 2
Your boyfriend doesn't run on Dunkin?
theyseemetrollin_fml 2
Of course, women are only called upon when their men need something, so OP I hope you decide to stop being such a bitch and make your man coffee!
marcranger 29
Nah, 20, J. Geils Band has it down. Love Stinks. Coffee's way better.
ViviMage 40
Is that an actual coffee percolator, or slang for something?? O.o;
Enslaved 38
He's testing the waters. He's asking about the coffee machine and then if that goes well, he'll soon upgrade to better things like a. . .booty call. :P
lpy1994 5
Is that a joke?
lotus612 1
I'd replace the water with pee
Bellaness 11
Piss i kaffen hans Pie in it