Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML
Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 29
OP, my first wife only actually got horny on her period. But before we were married, she was at least sexually receptive at other times too… It’s time for a discussion with GF about expectations of how often and when you’re going to make love. If you are able to come to a reasonable accommodation, then you have a future together. If you cannot come to a reasonable accommodation, then it’s time to be thankful she’s not your wife.
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Comments (1)
Chazzster 29
OP, my first wife only actually got horny on her period. But before we were married, she was at least sexually receptive at other times too… It’s time for a discussion with GF about expectations of how often and when you’re going to make love. If you are able to come to a reasonable accommodation, then you have a future together. If you cannot come to a reasonable accommodation, then it’s time to be thankful she’s not your wife.