Transportation: Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach....

By Chelsea - 18/05/2013 08:57 - Australia - Perth

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 554

You deserved it 5 448

Transportation

Vulture

Fundies say the darndest things

Vandals!

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 605

You deserved it 1 007

Still better off without him

By victimofakarmicbackfire - 12/02/2021 04:58

Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 241

Help!

By Agonised - 29/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 17:44 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 097

You deserved it 13 861

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 130

By replaced - 22/02/2016 03:03 - United States - Marietta

Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 101

You deserved it 1 644

By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 22:00

Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 309

You deserved it 212

By rofindie - 07/05/2012 04:12 - United States - Forest Hills

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 052

You deserved it 2 680

One law for me…

By P057M4N - 01/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my co-worker called out for the sixth time in 2 weeks with no reason, while my manager was out until noon. It was just the three of us in my department. He’s had 0 repercussions and has been doing this for months. They threatened to fire me for taking 5 minutes in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 65

Casey Anthony vibes

By NewMom - 01/09/2021 07:01

Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 295

By initforthewrongreasons - 18/05/2017 02:00

Today, I texted my exes, not because I missed them, but because I wanted to know how their pets were doing. This holds true for at least 4 relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 1 245

By whattalife - 02/09/2011 22:53 - United States

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 354

You deserved it 5 040

By thepigeonsfriend - 07/05/2012 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 5 917

By forgotten - 19/10/2014 18:19 - United States - Folsom

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 164

You deserved it 2 648

By Beeky - 22/08/2014 13:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 913

You deserved it 3 225

Missed opportunities

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, I was going to have a phone interview for an amazing internship opportunity. It was supposed to take place at 11AM. It’s now 1:30PM. My phone calls and concerned email have gone unanswered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 59

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworker's put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 109

By oops - 29/07/2015 06:15 - United States

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 852

You deserved it 9 700

By FuckPollen - 08/07/2015 11:01 - United Kingdom - Hartlepool

Today, I attended a work interview. My hay fever has been flaring up during the hot weather, causing my throat to swell up and make me short of breath, which I explained. The woman interviewing me told me I was unsuccessful, as customers wouldn't be able to understand someone with my 'disability'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 837

You deserved it 1 890

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 625

You deserved it 5 952

Poor odds

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 02:01 - Saint Lucia - Castries

Today, I looked into my fiance's Twitter to see he follows tons of "nipslips" and adult/porn pages, even though we've had numerous fights with him making excuses as to how/why I've been "misunderstanding" past issues. At this point I've pretty much bet my life on this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 791

Shocking reaction

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 14:00

Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 623

By Allergies suck - 22/11/2016 15:33 - United States - Westport

Today, I had four separate allergic reactions. The first from the pillow at the hotel I was staying at, the second and third from two separate ice cream parlors due to cross-contamination, and the fourth from peanut dust in the air on the plane ride home from my vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 482

You deserved it 1 048

By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 21:13 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 371

You deserved it 6 125

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 102

You deserved it 3 307

By echolaker2019 - 11/04/2016 03:57 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 776

You deserved it 1 617

Do as you're told

By ugh1234 - 21/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was demoted at work to a much harder and more time-consuming position because, I quote, "You have more experience." My boss is now telling the others I volunteered to be moved to the lower position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 61

By Tigerninjagoalie - 20/06/2016 23:13 - United States - Tonawanda

Today, I finally found someone who liked me and wanted to kiss me. It was a 5-year-old at the daycare I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 595

You deserved it 1 022

By DangerZone - 12/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 887

You deserved it 5 088

By Roma-Jay - 22/07/2012 14:13 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 655

You deserved it 48 303

By jennybrev - 13/07/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 634

You deserved it 2 844

By TrashGirl - 24/06/2018 01:30

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 887

You deserved it 368

By Z - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 661

You deserved it 35 446

By AwkwardPotato - 02/07/2013 02:37 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 850

You deserved it 3 742

By DanTheMan - 21/10/2014 02:29

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 077

You deserved it 4 127

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 150

You deserved it 64 503

Facebook drama

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 5 726

It's the new thing!

By Squeakyclean - 23/08/2021 08:01

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 21/12/2016 05:35

Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 740

By patriarchal apparently - 29/06/2013 19:58 - Saint Lucia

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 935

You deserved it 9 933

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Top comments

Aratiti 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:01

My mother told me that she once had to walk home topless from the beach when her friend accidentally took all of her clothes.

olpally 32

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:03

That's a nightmare. Yikes. At least people were kind enough to give you money for the train ride home.

Aratiti 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:01

My mother told me that she once had to walk home topless from the beach when her friend accidentally took all of her clothes.

PrimeEvilTahir 24

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:08

Woah... I wouldn't want to hear that story from my mom.

Welshite 39

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:14

Contrary to popular belief, our parents were young once. I know, I know, the knowledge that they were comes as quite a shock to you. Personally, I love hearing stories from my parents' youth. Not only do I sometimes learn valuable lessons but I can also chuckle along with them.

IscoreOnU 19

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:42

#1s story is a lot funnier than most I've heard. It would not bother me to hear this.

csg1987 3

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:46

Your parents have also had sex #7. Oh the humanity lol.

nightbirdblue 27

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Saturday 18 May 2013 20:18

#38 Don't forget your grandparents had sex too and could very well still have sex. :3

groovycrazyjoe 18

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Sunday 19 May 2013 3:53

kinda hard to believe to me you telling no one (woman) was nice enough to give her something

Zebediabolical 39

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Sunday 19 May 2013 4:24

I really hope they aren't. All four of mine are dead.

Wimoweh 10

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Sunday 19 May 2013 6:09

"Accidentally." Well, at least the passerby were happy.

Fairclough 8

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:52

Pray to god OP doesn't live on the Armadale line!

grahmagog 14

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:01

At least you were wearing something i guess

friedpwnadge 25

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Sunday 19 May 2013 8:22

It was an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini That she wore for the first time todayyyy~

olpally 32

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:03

That's a nightmare. Yikes. At least people were kind enough to give you money for the train ride home.

PrimeEvilTahir 24

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:10

Who wouldn't give money to a helpless girl in a bikini?

olpally 32

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:14

Touché. Well, from what I've seen on FML, people can often be more cruel to the people posting the FML. I don't see a lot of nice people helping the op out after something bad happens to the op originally, usually it's a snowball effect.

rg350dx 29

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:04

I'm sure asking for money in a bikini wasn't the worst form of attire to perform such an activity.

loserboii 11

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:06

Well at least she wasn't in a bikini in the streets. That would look worse ;)

Ambient25 24

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:15

In a bikini with stilettos on ;)

trivel64 16

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Saturday 18 May 2013 19:55

And hot pink fishnets.

MorganBrown 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:07

That is why you should get out what you really need, like sunblock, your towels, and maybe lunch, and leave the more important belongings inside the car with the lock on. That's what I do at least. FYL, and good luck replacing everything.

LittlestPrincess 21

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:09

she might have come with the train too though

MorganBrown 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:13

Maybe, but I'd still be a bit cautious of leaving my belongings in a spot where I couldn't see anyone taking things.

KarissaKareBear 6

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:16

Maybe her keys were in the bag that got stolen...

MorganBrown 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:18

I can't solve EVERY situation, I was just suggesting. If that happened, that would suck. Don't know what to say on it.

GiraffeAquarium 7

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:47

You can say maybe something else is what happened all day, because there will always be a situation where his suggestion won't work. No need to criticize every suggestion to death.

MorganBrown 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:51

Her* and thank you.

firefly319 7

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:08

Was there a pole on the train? Might as well make some more money. Seriously tho, sorry OP that sucks.

tswizz 13

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:09

STRAYA!!!!!!!

drizzy11 18

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Saturday 18 May 2013 23:19

Lame comment

meihua 19

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Sunday 19 May 2013 3:51

Congratulations, you master of the obvious, you

MorganBrown 8

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:11

I agree and to quite disturbing. I honestly think these new "trends" lead the teen pregnancy because the way they dress and they change their attitudes to more...throwing themselves out there. I really hate to see the future clothing ... If there is any at that.

ItsAUnicorn 27

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:12

There wasn't a religious mom on the beach who gave you at least a towel??

Samafilbeit 11

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:40

That's what i was thinking too! there wasn't one person that could sacrifice a $5.00 t-shirt? O.o Sorry OP, I love going to the beach alone, but this is exactly why I won't stay longer than 2 or 3 hours. As soon as I have to go to the bathroom, it's time to leave!

JACKxRAWR 22

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Sunday 19 May 2013 20:55

Who spends three hours taking a shit??

Kazze 31

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Sunday 15 February 2015 17:22

90: Taco Bell customers.

LittlestPrincess 21

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:14

at least you weren't at a nudist beach...

SmittyJA24 26

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:25

Hey! What's wrong with the nude beach?

Welshite 39

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:40

I was permanently banned from a nude beach. I guess they didn't appreciate my camera gear and binoculars. :(

Dracoboxer357 35

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:40

25- Lol! Following the chain of events, Op would have been riding the train home in only her skin. ;)

golden_warrior 23

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:42

She didn't mean it like that. If OP had been at nudist beach then she would of had to take the bus with nothing on

rg350dx 29

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:49

36. Really? I thought she meant that aliens frequently beam down lions from space to maul unsuspecting civilians at nude beaches. Well I guess to each his own...weirdo.

Enslaved 36

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Saturday 18 May 2013 16:54

33 you didn't read 25's sign? Rules are rules! Where I live, there's a nude beach but the waves are so rough that any attempt to enter the water would easily crush a man's balls.