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That sucks, i think she needs a good talking to. Hope it all works out alright!
Actually, the Romans didn't like to 'bang' 12yr olds. They did marry young, anytime between 12 and 16, young girls could be married off to obviously older men, but a Roman woman could remarry multiple times. I'm not saying I agree, but it is historical fact. Some societies like Sparta, women didn't marry until they were 18, it was law. They married, so it was legal their relationship, because a lot of women died during childbirth and they thought the earlier the better. They didn't know that the earlier was what was killing them.
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" Some societies like Sparta, women didn't marry until they were 18, it was law." Wasn't it 16? Shave your head bald, dress up like a male soldier, get kidnapped by your new husband who will leave you immediately for thirty years, aah, that were the good times! Thinking of it, didn't Edison marry a sixteen year old?
Spartans aside, I'm with 79; considering Op's first reaction was she wanted to sit the kids down and talk with them about their situation, I'd say Op sounds mature, realistic and willing to help her daughter out. :) If it was my daughter, I certainly hope I'd be that calm and mature, intially. ;) I'd certainly want to help raise the baby and give both the daughter and her child the best chances of a brighter future as I could though.
#143 Yes because it's not as though teenagers can ever go against what their parents tell them. And everyone knows that they cannot be held accountable for their actions. (Sarcasm off) All the sex talks in the world won't stop a teen from having sex if he/she really wants to and for all we know, OPs daughter did use birth control but it failed.
215- It's never too late to still sit down and talk with them. The daughter be pregnant now, but there are still several dozen decisions to be made in regards to her future choices for thier lives and care of the child-to-be as well as herself. Simply giving up because something less than ideal occurred is never the answer. ;p
Sounds like your daughter and you need to have a real long talk about self respect and loyalty if she was Dateing either of them
just because she has more than one sexual partner doesn't mean she lacks self respect. if a guy isn't willing to commit to a relationship, she should be able to sleep around too. not only that, but the FML never states how far along she is. she could've had sex with one, waited a month, and then had sex with the other guy. sex is natural and okay. quit shaming girls for expressing that.
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How on earth do you get "no self respect" from the fact that she had sex with two people? If she wants to sleep around it's her choice. Yeah she may be 15 but who are you people to judge her for wanting to have sex? God, I hate sexists.
It would be equally as shameful if it was a 15 year old boy. It would also show that he has no self respect either. Either gender that sleeps around has no self respect imo, women for not holding themselves to any value and allowing themselves to be used as sex dolls because they want to feel loved, and guys because they're pretty much saying that they're not partner material and they're not worth the time. I dunno about anyone else here, but if a girl sleeps around she's a slut, if a guy sleeps around he's not just 'being a guy', he's a douchebag. It's equally disgusting on both sides.
I think if someone of either gender sleeps around, they just want to have sex. I don't see any problem with this. We've all wanted to have sex at some point in our lives. I disagree with anyone who wants to use someone else as a 'sex object' which I think is totally wrong and disgusting. But sleeping with two guys has nothing to do with self respect (or lack of). I think the girl in the FML just wanted to have sex. Nothing wrong with that. 15 is old enough to understand situations, and to take responsibility for your own actions, regardless of what the law says.
I have a couple of issues with your comment. 1) it doesn't say the girl in the FML is in a relationship. 2) I never said she was in a relationship, nor did I say it's ok to cheat on an innocent partner. 3) why does your comment focus solely on females? 4) there are some cases where cheating is ok. For instance, if the other partner is abusive, or if they too are cheating. 5) I'm male
Whether you are male or female, for me, doesn't matter in the least, but not everything is sexist. Not every statement in regards to sex and women is sexist and I don't understand why people have to make it that way. She is 15 years old. Yes she is old enough to understand that he actions have consequences, but from a biological standpoint that doesn't mean as much to a child (and that is what she is) as it does to an adult. When a child is told if you have sex you may become pregnant, their brains don't necessarily understand the full impact of that statement because they aren't fully developed yet. Impulse control is something that isn't fully developed yet. And most young teens feel invincible, like nothing could happen to them. I'm not saying that all young teens don't understand (as I'm sure some teens are going to comment back that they do) but if you instill in them that it is totally fine to have sex whenever you want you are only instilling instant gratification into their minds which is dangerous down the line. Children need rules, they need guidelines. They don't need you saying "she's a girl, she's can be sexual if she wants to."
Also (I forgot to add this earlier) but yes it is perfectly okay for her to want to have sex. Sex is a natural desire. And that should be part of the conversation, sure. That doesn't mean they should be taught that because they want to do something and it's natural to want to do it that they are allowed to do it. There are a lot of idiots in the world that I want to punch in the face, which is a natural thing to feel when frustrated, but that doesn't mean I should actually start punching people.
15 years old is not biologically a child, at 15 most women have an adult body. im not saying that makes sex ok at that age but why does it magically become ok at 16 to have sex but not 15 when you dont change that much in a year. ops daughter was stupid to sleep with two guys in a close enough time not to know who the dad is
Holy shit, is this debate really happening? wallandpiece, are you a complete fuckcicle? I'm not even sure where to start, although I suppose it should be with the obvious: First of all, the comments are focusing on the female gender because OP's daughter (unless there was a sex change none of us know about) is female, and also happens to be the focal point of this FML. Secondly, regardless of how you "feel", if she had any maturity she wouldn't be fucking everything that moves, regardless of how much she "felt like it". And "there are some cases where cheating is okay? Are you out of your goddamned puny mind? SarahFuckingMoron (I'm just going to assume that's what the rest of your name says since it obviously applies.): I don't know where you imbeciles are getting your logic from (presumably out of each others asses), but nothing, NOTHING justifies sleeping around. What happened to being the better person and walking away from the relationship? If you think this is okay, you need to do some serious self-evaluation. Last, but certainly not least, monnanon: Physical development is not the same as psychological and sociological development. At 15 years old you're barely beginning the throes of puberty, and the brain is sure as hell still developing. And no, you're right, it doesn't magically become okay to start screwing around when you jump up a year. But you certainly need some semblance of maturity to start having sex at any age, which OPs daughter obviously doesn't. I can't believe I even had to address all this, it's fucking ridiculous.
@56 she's 15, pregnant and doesn't know who the father is. That's straight up trashy no matter what age you are but damn she's a kid. It is not okay to sleep around at 15 no matter what gender you are. And it's people saying that it is okay to screw around at a young age that makes kids think it is alright.
104- really? Tell that to my two boyfriends who are very happy to share me vs tell me to pick and risk losing me. Funny thing, they both want sex so I am having sex with multiple guys. Also some guys like watching their partner with someone else- both of mine do. There is viable reasons if you have mature people who are open about their desires and are willing to make a unconventional relationship work because it makes everyone happy. We plan as soon as its possible to all live together as one happy family. Still think women who have more than one partner have no respect for themselves? Also- a guy who hooks up with a bunch of girls is a stud. A girl with multiple partners is a slut. Think about that for a sec. Who exactly are these studly men supposed to have sex with if its so shameful for women to have multiple partners? Yes 15 is far too young for sex, but it doesn't mean ops daughter has no respect for herself... And if she really does have no respect- ask yourself why. Instead of shaming consider early promiscuous behavior is often a symptom of sexual abuse.
@104: 1. No one can "destroy" a gender. If a person kills someone, then the human race isn't destroyed, nor is the gender of the person who killed a person, you can't blame other people if you feel ashamed of your gender, or claim that other people living their life the way they want effects you in some way. 2. Female is a sex, not a gender, there is a difference. I'd like to add that I do not think it's okay for a 15-year-old to have multiple sex partners, because that's basically still a child. I just mean consenting ADULTS, it's their business.
15 is still a child, basically. You aren't considered an adult legally, some people aren't an adult physically, and not even legal adults generally have fully developed brains yet. They aren't always stupid, no, but they don't have the fully developed brains or life experience to be considered adults, therefore, they are children. And that's not a bad thing, way too many people want to grow up too fast, even though being a child is one of the few times you aren't expected to be totally independent.
179-It was necessary to address the sheer amount of stupidity in this thread. And monnanon: Did I or did I not agree with you when you said that she shouldn't be having sex? (Hint: the answer is yes.) And in regards to your other comment about age and maturity, I also addressed that in my comment above. Re-read the last part.
wallandpeice, a parent can certainly tell their 15 year old CHILD what to do with his or her body, morally and legally. "Don't get piercings, don't get a tattoo, and DON'T HAVE SEX BECAUSE YOU COULD GET PREGNANT." Maybe if she'd listened to her father (I'm assuming that even if OP never specifically told her that, she knew he wouldn't approve) she wouldn't now be burdened with a child she can't support financially and is illequiped to raise because she's 15 FUCKING YEARS OLD. Really it's that baby I feel sorry for because he has an irresponsible sand m and he may not even grow up with a father in his life or even ever know who his father is. So now her child will be paying for her foolishness.
Your comment started out good then ended with some of the most sexist tripe of this thread. However, amazingly it managed to be show some sexism towards both sexes . Let's analyze shall we? First you start off by saying that women don't hold themselves to any value for having sex. Essentially you're saying that a woman's value is tied directly to her chastity or lack thereof. Therefore, a 'slutty' woman had no value.Why do you assume only women lose value when engaging in sex? Are women nothing but objects for men to buy and sell? The more men who buy the 'item' the less value it has? Where's your comment about men losing their value/worth due to having sex? You continue on by touting that women who have sex are being used and do so because they want to feel love. Why do you assume women only have sex to feel love? Why do you assume women who have sex are being used? Where's your comment about men having sex to feel love or the comment about men being used when having sex? Oh that's right, you probably think women are always used when they have sex because they are an object and the man is the person using said object. Therefore, a man can't possibly be used during sex and women are always being used. Now onto your comment on the guys. :) You say promiscuous men aren't partner material. So promiscuous women are partner material? Despite everything negative you say/imply about women, a promiscuous woman is a viable partner but a promiscuous man is not? Where's the comment about promiscuous women not being worthy of having a relationship? Do only 'slutty' men deserve to live a life alone with nobody who cares for him. Does he not deserve to have someone to grow old with? Overall, your comment perpetrates the sexist stereotype that women don't desire sex, only have sex to feel loved, are objects, and are worthless if they are 'slutty'. It also adds a different aspect you don't often see by saying even worthless women are worthy of a relationship but 'slutty' men deserve to die alone. Wow! You managed to accomplish quite a bit.
It's just starting to look like that one of the requirements for 8th grade is just to put every girl on birth control. Way too many kids having sex with far too many people. Girls need to learn how to protect and respect themselves if they're gonna be sexually active.
Suuure, you're just going to "sit him down" and "talk" ;) ;)
For the record, it was a joke. I don't condone beating fifteen year old kids either but when you think of dads and how protective they are of their daughters, I'm sure some dads would probably be that angry if their teenage daughter was pregnant. And nowhere did I say anything about beating a pregnant girl.
15, wouldn't you rather people knew how to use protection than have a metric fuckton more unwanted pregnancies? Teenagers are going to have sex, man. They might as well know how to protect themselves instead of having just the, "Sex is bad. Don't do it ever" speech.
#15 the problem isn't that they have sex so young, the problem IS the getting pregnant thing. I myself lost my virginity at 15, but I'm not a teen anymore and I didn't have any baby because I have always used protections. If you tell them not to do it be sure that they will and you can't do anything about it -- might as well prepare them and teach them how to be safe.
15, teenagers will have sex if they want to, telling them it's bad won't prevent them from doing so, the only thing you can do is teach them about self respect, relationships and anti-conception. I had sex at 15, but it was after we were together for half a year and I knew I was ready, we're still together 2 and a half years later. Despite the fact that I was young, I don't regret it and never have.
15, I agree that 15 yr old shouldn't be having sex. Not only is it illegal, I don't think they are mature enough to handle such an intimate act and its consequences, especially with multiple partners. However, teenagers will have sex and I for one would rather know my kids or any kid be doing it safely and with protection, rather than suffer the life altering repercussions of pregnancy.
15- But surely you'd rather know that they're being safe about it and not getting pregnant? A lot of teens (not all) will have sex either way, whether they're given protection or not. So in the long run, it's better to give them protection and teach them how to use rather than worry about whether they're pregnant or not. Also, for the record, I started having sex when I was 15 and that wasn't too young for me. Everyone is ready at different times.