Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
meirginsburg18
| 10
looks like Jesus 2
By
jonahwalzer
| 12
Wow, im so sorry for you, a teen really shouldn't be pregnant. Thats my opinion anyway
COMMENTS
By
meirginsburg18
| 10
looks like Jesus 2
Reply
smokecloud_
| 37
Or the anti-Christ.
Reply
SmuggletheBudgie
| 15
Jesus 2.0 New and Improved!
Reply
HKCgrimmjow
| 15
What about if she had been implanted with sperm? You know, something like that.
Reply
Ardatlile
| 13
yey let's get a new jebus on earth! 'cause it went so very well the first time x)
Reply
Vagitarian1
| 10
This post does nothing but confirm the hilarity of God and religion.
Reply
IHATEFMYLIFE
| 26
82 Who in their right mind would implant a teenage girl with sperm? Smh
Reply
Somuchart
| 3
What the fuck. What mom would go on the internet after finding out her daughter is pregnant, and tell it to the world?
Reply
184886837272837
| 32
#84 if you find religion hilarious best keep it to yourself. It's not polite to infringe upon other people's beliefs so long as they do not infringe upon yours, or use their beliefs to try to infringe upon your rights. Being atheist doesn't mean you're more enlightened if you're a bigger dick about it than fundamental Christians.
Reply
Sports_guy3
| 28
I agree with #96. Maybe OP's dad hasn't had enough..?
Reply
happylappy
| 21
She could of blacked out and got taken advantage of or date raped...
Reply
TideRider
| 3
agreed. look at the gender symbol of course is the dad.
Reply
speckledots
| 29
My friend actually got pregnant and was still a virgin. You can get pregnant while messing around. All the sperm has to do is get on the vaginal wall. Penetration isn't necessary.
Reply
minesbiggerr
| 25
#140 or the male could have an uber small penis like that FML a long time ago where her boyfriend's was to tiny and didn't penetrate enough
Reply
Odis12
| 11
As soon as Sperm hits the air it's dead. It's not like you could wipe semen on the vagina and a girl gets pregnant.
Reply
thehumanlyhuman
| 7
152 I don't know what your high school health teacher taught you but that sure as hell isn't true..
Reply
StzaCrack666
| 18
sequels are almost always never as good as the original
Reply
allia118
| 11
Well, not this kids mom. But her dad on the other hand.
Reply
Just_stop
| 5
idiots claim that kind of retardation.
Reply
baby4mommy
| 27
Even before fully aroused a small amount is often discharged and can remain viable long enough to be transferred by hand with a small but still significant risk of pregnancy. This kind of information is why abstinence only education is so dangerous.
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
God f**king damnit!!!...
Reply
calipilot227
| 16
The second coming!
By
5111fire
| 7
Hope it goes well
Reply
caohm
| 18
when they say you have the holy ghost in you I don't think that's what they mean
Reply
breakinlegs
| 19
how is her teenage daughter having a baby going to go well?
Reply
abhi95
| 31
Because she is the grandmother of GOD!
By
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H
| 20
Is your sister's name Mary?
Reply
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H
| 20
Oops daughter
Reply
MidnaLink
| 32
Still a valid question!
By
RenoTheRhino
| 30
Common sense?
Reply
shellykjelly
| 26
It is possible to become pregnant and still be a virgin...
Reply
Tsuky_fml
| 4
withous sperm implant ?
By
jonahwalzer
| 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
Reply
Palirose
| 22
They shouldn't. If anything anyone who can't even afford to take care of themselves shouldn't be having sex in general. Especially if you have no means of taking care of the child. If you can't understand to use a condom. Then you're not old enough or mature enough to be doing the deed.
Reply
annie_nk
| 22
Teenage pregnancy is high risk anyway.
Reply
skitzymew
| 19
49, a condom doesn't always mean that you won't get pregnant.
Reply
xChaos
| 29
Yeah I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have sex under 18, or something like that...
Reply
dutch_princess
| 5
not in canada! 16 is th age of consent!
Reply
NessaMae
| 19
I don't see why your daughter is even bothering with lying. She's trying to play you for stupid, but obviously you're not. I'm not sure what she was thinking stating she was a virgin, when clearly the evidence she's not is growing inside of her uterus.
Reply
Chris93Jones
| 20
There's two sides of the coin. if the parents are responsible and can take care of it without being welfare mooching dropouts, more power to them! If not, don't have kids. in the end, it's none of our business, and what they do is their choice.
Reply
euphoricness
| 28
I had sex at nine years old
Reply
Sweetpea22
| 14
Troll
Reply
happyevil
| 10
Woop-dee-fucking-doo dude. No one care what age you had sex we here to give our opinion to OP. Not ogle at your stupidity 182...
By
TheAlchemist22
| 9
its the reincarnation of Jesus!
Reply
strike2867
| 13
Everyone, hide your liquor and prostitutes!!!
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Wonder if the OP is going to regret doubting her when his grandbaby starts changing water into wine!
Reply
1947Chevy
| 17
18 why hide my liquor? Nothing says I can't drink and Jesus was able to turn water to wine. He may just turn it into even better liquor.
Reply
Rishima
| 8
I think he's saying the new Jesus would take them. You know Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, she ended up following him around, and he did drink a lot in the bible...
By
fletchy803
| 10
Oh society.......so screwed
Reply
theawkwardlife
| 21
What does society have to do with op's daughter getting knocked up? Stop blaming the world for everything that goes wrong!
Reply
theawkwardlife
| 21
#36, getting pregnant was her own damn fault. The TV shows didn't force her to do it, she made her own decisions so she should be the one taking responsibility for them.
Reply
jrshap12
| 10
It was society who allowed her to feel ok with what she was doing, therefore leading to her getting knocked up
Reply
jkmartinjk
| 16
A family friend of mine had to "console" a high school student who was crying in class because she /didn't/ get pregnant...
Reply
ThatsMyPie
| 20
@111 Look, bitches, OP is from Egypt. It's not society's fault at all considering THAT BEHAVIOR IS FORBIDDEN. It was the daughter's fault entirely.
Have sex as a teenager is fine. Who cares? Biologically, TEENAGERS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. Unfortunately, economics and conventional ethics condemn it.
It's fine to have sex. Just use birth control. I know it's still possible to get pregnant. If that happens, no big deal. Your life isn't over, it's just a very large change.
Have sex as a teenager is fine. Who cares? Biologically, TEENAGERS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. Unfortunately, economics and conventional ethics condemn it.
It's fine to have sex. Just use birth control. I know it's still possible to get pregnant. If that happens, no big deal. Your life isn't over, it's just a very large change.
Reply
Nohman
| 14
@111 You're acting as if it is every teenage girl's goal to end up pregnant, which is a tremendous overestimation. Yes, cultural structures are important, but they do not determine outcomes, they facilitate or constrain them. Don't generalize on the basis of the behaviour of a few.
By
xMnky
| 8
Jesus has been busy!
By
pwnman
| 33
At least Santa tried to get her pregnant.
By
awkwardloveannie
| 28
take her to a gynecologist and get proof she isnt a virgin?
Reply
JazNim17
| 18
You mean the pregnancy isn't proof enough?
Reply
theawkwardlife
| 21
I think getting pregnant is proof enough.
Reply
bananabean16
| 2
The "proof" a gynecologist could offer (her hymen being broken) is not 100% accurate, since it could possibly be broken in other ways. The fact that she has been impregnated, however, is irrefutable, excluding divine phenomenon.
Reply
carbivore
| 10
There is absolutely no way to prove if a woman is a virgin or not. Hymens aren't real, and "vaginal laxity" is no way to tell either. That's why 'virgin testing' in the Middle East is such a huge cause of outrage.
Reply
FarFromSocial
| 9
never go full retard ma'am.
Reply
Sweetpea22
| 14
Please tell us you were joking. You can't really be that fucking stupid
Reply
Sweetpea22
| 14
Hymens aren't real? Guess my friend didn't really have her hymen completely covering her vaginal opening that needed to be surgically fixed
Reply
Sweetpea22
| 14
LIES, #34 SAID HYMENS AREN'T REAL. D:< *Sarcasm*
Reply
SpicyDuck
| 22
So a females hymen isn't an actual body part, but a myth...? Please teach me more about what they didn't tell me in sex ed.
Reply
Sweetpea22
| 14
The g-spot and clit are myths too. *Sarcasm*
Reply
tukies
| 28
I thought 11 had a good idea. I mean as soon as OP brings this up to their daughter, she would get all nervous, and decide to tell the truth.
Reply
MelTheGreat
| 23
Are you new??
Reply
V688
| 12
To #34
Never go full retard ...
Never go full retard ...
Reply
Sports_guy3
| 28
#129-
1. Already stated.
2. You're so late.
1. Already stated.
2. You're so late.
Reply
SilverInGray
| 25
79 - a lot of people don't think the g spot is real, actually. Sex researchers don't all agree about it.