Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Arenick 0
Im guessing your daughter never came to one of these speakings right?
dspadres 0
I didn't know Sarah Palin visited FML! Awesome.
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Comments (270)
stephanielolz 0
wow and she is only 14. way to have respect for yourself. good luck with the grandchild though. you're daughter deserves to be punched though.
VectorRaptor 0
I'm in between on this one. If you actually teach safer sex as a legitimate option, then I agree, your life sucks. If you teach celibacy as the main or only option, then you totally deserved it. And in response to #355: Bile aside, sir, yes she deserved it if she teaches celibacy only because it's an antiquated and ridiculous notion that teenagers will entirely abstain from sex. And studies have shown that abstinence-only sex education actually increases the number of teenage pregnancies and STIs.
greeneye_fml 12
Abort! Abort! Abort!
gildedmuse 0
Utterly agree. I assume you mean it when you say you teach safe sex, but if that's code for "abstinence" than, really, perhaps you should have consulted some basic statics before promoting such an limiting education. If you actually teach safer sex, than this would be a good time to talk with your daughter. Did she purposefully get pregnant (some kids have a very unrealistic view of pregnancy and motherhood, she may think it's ideal) or have you not spoken to her about it?
craig_16 0
Definitely deserve it if you push celibacy heavier than being safe.
AsAlwaysAndrew 0
Kindly give your a daughter a high five for me, and give yourself a bitch slap in the process.
xKitKatx 0
I love you #13 :3
Triplefool 0
Wow, Sarah Palin writes on FML.com?
haley84 0
I think in the future, put more of an emphasis on SAFE SEX because something tells me you're not doing that great of a job.
melaniexshea 0
Your daughter is a ****. K, bye. :)
niceonejackass 0
HA! I hope she also gets a horrid disease just so you get your just dues for teaching such bullshit. God hates you. Oh wait, he doesn't exist. OWNED!