Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
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Comments (390)
KimPersian_fml 0
wtf thats on determined bully on his period...
juanjax5220 0
You are 34 years old. Do something about it.
Obryn 9
Move to Colorado and take advantage of the "Make My Day" law.
bigbisawesome 0
well if this has been going on for quite a while and all he has done was call to tell u happy birthday and not do what he says he is gonna do then dont worry bout it. once he does something then kick his ass. but until then u should be fine.
xx000o 27
Call him at 3am and tell him that you just placed a contract on him, then call back at different times and say "bang" and hang-up."
r4m2k 10
Have you ever tried to, oh i dont know, standup to him ? Unless you laugh at him when he does that, its pretty pathetic.
Enigmax2514 7
WTF are u, a wimp? I can understand in high sch but 34 yes old? knock his ******* teeth out
ritzbits 0
lol
rawritsannie 0
tell him "Aaaaanything?" xD
KeriGlover 0
Dude...Buy a gun!