Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my birthday, I once again had to remind my best friend of this fact, like I have every year for the past 20 years. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicFoo 0
That's one determined bully.
worldcupcheer17 0
call the cops he's a creepy ass stalker lmao
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Comments (390)
100percentwhite 0
dude just grow a pair and ******* kill him or cut off his balls or something like that. 'swat I would do.
littlecow44 0
sounds to me like he's joking.
dyld921 2
I'd say he has the hots for you.
dyld921 2
also supported by the fact that after all these years he still remembers your b-day
caviar_fml 2
press charges. that'll teach him
beaker38 5
I got a a solution to make you A man. buy a gun
lacey6195 4
get a new number
thexChiotorie 2
Wow, that's creepy. Like rapist creepy. I mean, couldn't you imagine being in bed one night, sleeping soundly while he entered your bedroom, standing at the foot of the bed? He watches you while you are unaware, waiting, contemplating? Slowly he stalks up to the side of the bed and sits next to your sleeping form, raising up a hand to stroke your cheek? He pulls out a pair of handcuffs, swiftly grabs a wrist, and cuffs it to the bed post? Before you even awaken fully, he lies down next to you, grabs you tight, and with lips barely touching your ear, he whispers darkly, "I can do whatever I want to you," and with that hot breath on your ear, you realize how right he is? Seriously, you might want to find a way to remedy this situation before ... you know ... ^
someblackguy 3
... tf is wrong with you?
Cenobyte 10
thexChiotorie - Thanks for the nightmares. None of us will sleep soundly again. lol
mlsocean11 2
Call the cops, dumbass.
firesam101 0
get a gun to scare the crap out of him for revenge