By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 871
You deserved it 3 585

Same thing different taste

Top comments

crackberrie 0

creepy!!! how come you haven't changed your number? (it sounds like this person has been stalking you for a while from your post)


Galienus called fellatio "lesbiari" since women of the island of Lesbos were supposed to have been the introducer of the practice to use one's lips to give sexual pleasure.[6] The Ancient Indian Kama Sutra, dating from the first centuries AD, describes oral sex,[7] discussing fellatio in great detail and only briefly mentioning ***********. However, according to the Kama Sutra, fellatio is above all a characteristic of eunuchs (or, according to other translations, of effeminate homosexuals or transwomen similar to the modern Hijra of India), who use their mouths as a substitute for female genitalia. The author states that it is also practiced by "unchaste women" but mentions widespread traditional concerns about this being a degrading or unclean practice, with known practitioners being evaded as love partners in large parts of the country. He seems to agree with these attitudes to some extent, claiming "a wise man" should not engage in that form of intercourse while acknowledging that it can be appropriate in some unspecified cases. The religious historian Mircea Eliade speaks of a desire to transcend old age and death and achieve a state of nirvana in the Hindu practice of Tantric yoga. In Tantric yoga the same emphasis is placed on the retention and absorption of vital liquids and Sanskrit texts describe how semen must not be emitted if the yogi is to avoid falling under law of time and death.[8] In Islamic literature the only form of sex that is always explicitly prohibited within marriage is sex during menstrual cycles (see islamic view of anal sex).[9] But the exact attitude towards oral sex is a subject of disagreements between modern scholars of Islam. Authorities considering it "objectionable" do so because of the contact between the supposedly impure fluids emitted during intercourse and the mouth.[10] Others emphasize there is no decisive evidence to forbid it.[11] Moche Ceramic Depicting Fellatio. 300 A.D. Larco Museum CollectionThe Moche culture of ancient Peru worshipped daily life including sexual acts. They depicted fellatio in their ceramics.[12]

As my second troll post, i'll take a more general aproach to this: YDI FOR BEING ALIVE. SIMPLE AS THAT

by burying me, you simply infuriate the troll, making the troll post more on all the topics. You have cuased your own demise

no1askdu 5

YOu got a call on your birthday...your so lucky...i usually get a rock

Kiwi_Splash 0

At someone loves you enough to remember you.

your not? cant you think of a more creative troll comment, like ydi for waiting for a phone to ring at the time you picked it up and not being in a cheese factory and sitting on expired cheese and feeding a cow purple bricks. wouldnth that be a better troll?

hellokittywhore 0

hehe bummer my birthdays alway blow too good luck next year

crackberrie 0

creepy!!! how come you haven't changed your number? (it sounds like this person has been stalking you for a while from your post)

Imawhalerider 0

You probably should let him be your special present considering you have no friends.

What about me? Can I be your special present? I'm little and durable, I'll even give you a foot massage. (; Anyhow, did he replace the "l"s with "r"s? if not, he's got some learnin' to do.

habby burrdaii tu ruu habby burrdaii tu ruu!!

stalkers suck. that's unfortunate, but hilarious

americayay 0

Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean that everyone has to worship you. To everyone else it's just a regular day. Why should we care that you've grown a year older. If no one wished you a happy birthday it probably means you either have no friends, so it shouldn't really be expected that no one said anything anyways. Or you don't have nearly as good friends as you thought you did.

CowGoesMoo 0

Why did you listen to your stalkers message? You should probably not answers calls from him.

Most of the time if a woman says she has a stalker on the internet, it's either a lie or a delusion.

Creepy and Freaky. Happy Birthday though! (: (change your number)