Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML
Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML
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Top comments
ajh1800 25
Maybe it's time to start keeping a water bottle on your night stand when you go to bed 🤷🏽♀️
tounces7 27
How did you spill the whole gallon? I mean, it takes awhile for the milk to pour out. Did you just lay there letting it dump all over you and not do anything?
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Comments (8)
ajh1800 25
Maybe it's time to start keeping a water bottle on your night stand when you go to bed 🤷🏽♀️
kristalurena 8
You know what they say about spilled milk.
25000bees 10
pour it on the cat?
bloopaloop 27
A whole gallon? How did you “accidentally” hold it upside down that long?
tounces7 27
How did you spill the whole gallon? I mean, it takes awhile for the milk to pour out. Did you just lay there letting it dump all over you and not do anything?
donb23 23
Better milk than booze.
Jonkbaby 22
on purpose?