By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks 68 694
You deserved it 5 579

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I suggest locking your door at night

I don't think he's old enough to really understand death... And how permanent it is


I don't think he's old enough to really understand death... And how permanent it is

Roskosity 22

I don't think he even understands what death is at all.

Or perhaps he does. It would make a good horror movie. The five year old from hell.

Well, he could understand it to a point, as in like an extremely long nap type way. And I would pay to see the 5 Year Old From Hell.

PaintedTempest 14

That's true. Kids say the darnedest things.

My boyfriend lost his sister a couple years back and his brother was 10 at the time and didn't fully understand it while she was sick.. He completely understood the intensity and how permanent it is after she passed.. Children don't.. Just explain to him as best as you can why he shouldn't do it.. And keep this story for his wedding day to embarrass him... If you make it to then ;)

What she said.... Unless he kills you before then

A lot of parents explain death as "going to a better place". Maybe he thought he was helping?

Sigh he knows that all you need to do is hit "x" and you respawn! Don't give the kid a hard time

But what if the kid is really a budding sociopath?? I'd get psychiatric consultation at the very least. /:

Old movie, but has anyone else here seen "The Omen"?

I understood death and its permanence at that age, and the child has clearly made the connection between suffocation and death. That suggests to me that he understands enough for this to be a genuine concern.

I agree. They tend to start young, and often for no apparent reason. They have recently discovered there is an actual physical difference in the brains of sociopaths. Not all of them turn into killers (in fact, many come from good homes with no past trauma), but all of them share these characteristics (in terms of brain function and such). OP, if you read this, there is an extremely interesting documentary called "Are You Good or Evil?" and it might be of interest if you have genuine concerns about your child.

#148 i think i've seen something very similar to what you're talking about, it was called "how evil are you?" Anyway, it said the same thing about how serial killers all have a similar part of their dna. Yet, not all people with it become serial killers, but many politicians have it, too. Kinda creepy. That documentary was incredible, though. I recommend it to everyone!!

I suggest locking your door at night

rg350dx 29

I'm sure evil like that just bypasses the door completely and teleports straight to the closet or under the bed.

Is your child called Chucky by any chance OP?

... Or Stewie... DAMN YOU VILE WOMAN! DIE!

Locked door and gun under your pillow.

vlad640 1

#103-if this kid is so evil he can get passed a locked door with no problems i should think holy water might be better then a gun xD

This is why Dexter before bedtime is a bad idea.

Maybe he doesn't understand the significance of "die" yet? He could just think it's a big sleep and be looking out for your rest! Or maybe you've been leaving soap operas on during his nap time and he's getting ideas... Hmm

If the kid was getting ideas from soap operas, it'd probably take three weeks to execute a murder plot...

But, OP was already sleeping. So your explanation wouldn't make any sense at all.

Sabriiyah_Witter 5

Sorry but I laughed way to hard at this

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

44 your fat Pooh bear pic is kinda cute lol

I could not help but to think about stewie from family guy lol

This is the reason why there is private message. To keep comments about the fml not the fat pooh bear

62 - Now that you caught a Ditto, ***** the shit out of it and make it give you eggs!

83 I was thinking more of Damian from the omen

XxTaliaxX 16

I cannot stop laughing my ass off. A little killer in the making.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

baby hitler. kind of terrifying!

Huh. Maybe you should take him to talk to someone about that; I wouldn't worry too much though. It's probably something he saw on tv or an imitation of what a friend did.

Love_sosa 10

so a 5 year old is friends with a killer?

As in if he was playing a cops and robbers type game with his friends...

I don't think a Cops and Robbers game gets so serious that someone actually dies. Unless its played with real cops and real robbers.

PhDInLife 8

His name isn't Jeffrey by chance is it?? Seems like you should address this. What's funny to you could be construed as problematic behavior by teachers or other adults...not to mention a little creepy!

I was seriously thinking the same thing! XD I'm sorry OP but your kid seems kinda scary. . Never underestimate children. O.e

yep taking him to therapy seems like good choice

The Shining so happens to be on right now haha

I see you, and dat code geass Gurl. =.=

Azeri_fml 11
SystemofaBlink41 27

As they say, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! makes him a dull boy not a killer

First sleep walking, now sleep MURDER!

ShadowAirplane 9

Murder has been known to happen while someone was sleep walking as well as Rape, Driving and I think Robbery.

MartiOan 8

I recently read a warning issued by the FDA warning of such activities performed while sleeping as a side-effect of certain drugs. Sleepwalking was never mentioned, only sleepdriving and sleepcooking and -eating. The times, they are 'a changing.