Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
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Top comments
watchme 11
I suggest locking your door at night
shorty6823 28
I don't think he's old enough to really understand death... And how permanent it is
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Comments (169)
cetlawizard 15
What exactly is your child watching on tv? To those who thumbed down the idea of taking your kid to see a therapist....wow, you all must not realize the seriousness of this...does that mean you guys think its also "normal" behavior for children to abuse pets, because if you think that...you also need serious help.
kev1029 22
That could be a case of bipolar disorder. Or antisocial personality disorder. The kids do not know what they are saying and actually do not do it to be mean. They just do it because they think it is funny.
Raum 19
How on earth could this be a sign of bipolar disorder?
Jessj958 19
I'm confused. What exactly do you mean by "butthurt"?
girlbye23 15
Three words: up for adoption.
DracoSpirita 21
Four words: You are an idiot. Just because the kid did one thing that could be considered disturbing does not mean a response is required that is so completely drastic. OP should just sit her kid down and talk to him about why he would do such a thing and what he thinks death is. Adoption is an extremely drastic measure for such a small incident.
Drifting 21
Kids say and do the darnedest things hey....lol
pam241 15
serial killer in the making
Narelon 12
Get him some counselling. If he's trying to choke you to death, he seems like he has problems.
Dyspro 5
If this happened to me I would be scared shitless.
itsme3623 6
And this is why you don't name your child Lucifer.
josiem 11
I understood death at age four, and the fact that he has already made the connection between suffocation and death means you should probably keep an eye on him - and don't leave him alone with animals.