Haha, he probably feels so special

Sounds like a ball breaker of a day.

#1, he's trying to stomp out all future competition for his dad's love.

Sounds like your son is learning Krav Maga...

what a great father...

He started out in your balls, he was just trying to find a way back in.

How did this get thumbed down?

Because that's not how reproduction works

Tell him he killed his soon-to-be-brother.

And why would you ever say that to a 5-year old?

Just drop him off at the adoption place

Go to timeout and think about what you've done. If you still believe that was appropriate, stay in the corner and think some more.

WTF?!

Because you can't admit your son hurt you? and maybe in the process teach him to be careful around such sensitive areas?

Exactly. My son is four and knows not to jump on daddy's balls.

Why shouldn't he jump on your balls? Does it have anything to do with your screen name?

^^^^ I am dying of laughter.

Fyl,you chose to have kids.

Coming from the prepubescent teenager.

So did your parents. Think they regret it?

That's YDI for choosing to have kids. Getting ball busted comes with the territory of child raising.

explain to him how one day he will share the same "happiness" lol

Son, someday in the future you will understand why daddy is crying.

Kids. Gotta love 'em.

Especially when they get to choose which nursing home you get to go to at the end.

I would have explained it to him a different way!!! The old fashion way.

I can't help but picture your "old fashioned" way involving OP punching his son in the groin and saying "hurts don't it?".

For accidentally hurting him? Sometimes the old-fashioned way is just the asshole parent way.

You sound like an awesome dad :D