Sounds like a ball breaker of a day.

#1, he's trying to stomp out all future competition for his dad's love.

Sounds like your son is learning Krav Maga...

what a great father...

How did this get thumbed down?

Because that's not how reproduction works

And why would you ever say that to a 5-year old?

Go to timeout and think about what you've done. If you still believe that was appropriate, stay in the corner and think some more.

WTF?!

Exactly. My son is four and knows not to jump on daddy's balls.

Why shouldn't he jump on your balls? Does it have anything to do with your screen name?

^^^^ I am dying of laughter.

Coming from the prepubescent teenager.

So did your parents. Think they regret it?

That's YDI for choosing to have kids. Getting ball busted comes with the territory of child raising.

Son, someday in the future you will understand why daddy is crying.

Especially when they get to choose which nursing home you get to go to at the end.

I can't help but picture your "old fashioned" way involving OP punching his son in the groin and saying "hurts don't it?".

For accidentally hurting him? Sometimes the old-fashioned way is just the asshole parent way.