Transportation: Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car.... - FML

By Roxas - 14/02/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 746

You deserved it 3 227

Mama's boy

Grossed out

Give me strength

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 3 366

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 16:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 648

You deserved it 71 540

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 017

You deserved it 4 252

By loveyadad - 16/06/2013 15:46 - United States - Watertown

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 927

You deserved it 3 803

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 955

You deserved it 4 885

By Anon - 08/03/2012 11:53 - United States

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 622

You deserved it 7 542

Mom of the century

By Central - 29/10/2019 12:00

Today, I've not had any contact with my mother for years, and when tornadoes came through our hometown and wiped out most of our downtown area, she didn't contact me at all. I finally contacted her myself. Her reason for not contacting me? She had "watched the news" and "knew I was OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 193

By zero_minded12 - 21/05/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 784

You deserved it 70 996

Family channels have issues

By Dylann - 06/09/2021 02:01

Today, I'm 16, my sister is 13 and our little brother is 9. Our parents just told us their plans to start a family vlog on YouTube, because, "It's made people rich. Don't you want to be rich?" I said I didn't want to be a part of such a humiliating enterprise, but they started filming me, as a "first family argument video." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 97

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 7 171

By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 18:07 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 2 574

By JackNicholsonInChinatown - 25/10/2016 02:58

Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 484

You deserved it 864

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 12 002

By GrannyAt22 - 22/06/2010 01:28 - Canada

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 889

You deserved it 26 823

By sniper foxeh - 29/07/2018 01:30

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 4 364

By ethawesome1125 - 03/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Round Rock

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 397

You deserved it 7 461

Merry Christmas

By Jules - 23/12/2020 11:01 - Germany

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 144

By pinoyson - 11/10/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 12 892

By suxx - 25/06/2011 08:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 633

You deserved it 8 192

By FMlovelife - 28/06/2012 15:28 - United States

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 687

You deserved it 2 948

By Stressed Seamstress - 16/11/2017 00:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my usual 15 minute return trip from the fabric store took almost an hour and a half due to traffic. Once I finally got home, I realized I misunderstood the pattern I'm using and only bought half the fabric I needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 268

You deserved it 762

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2019 06:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 3 609

By I Have Failed - 02/04/2014 20:10 - Spain - Madrid

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 069

You deserved it 6 582

A sand castle

By Roasted Marshmallows - 07/11/2019 03:30

Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 465

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 16:00

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 176

Dick move

By blargerpanda - 29/04/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 816

You deserved it 12 473

Ace of Spades

By Simon Edhouse - 13/09/2021 09:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 193

Alexa, play "These Things Take Time" by The Smiths

By p0isonOreo68 - 08/11/2020 08:03

Today, I broke my glasses, so I scheduled an appointment to get a new pair. The soonest available appointment? November 21st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 82

By yayaimannoying - 09/03/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 5 075

By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 276

You deserved it 3 945

Smart criminals

By Annette - 27/11/2020 23:01

Today, I came out to find my truck window broken. They broke into my truck to yank out the stereo. It was unlocked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 206

You deserved it 4 564

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 602

You deserved it 2 815

By Oh. - 23/07/2019 02:00

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 2 372

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 00:07 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 601

You deserved it 4 679

Gross

By clips - 16/02/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 886

You deserved it 2 584

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 13:50 - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 727

You deserved it 95 250

By nickyboy - 02/12/2010 17:02 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774

You deserved it 8 643

By busted - 02/08/2012 06:53 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 267

You deserved it 18 616

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

WhiteZoneRedZone 6

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:20

You write a letter trying to explain you don't own a car, they'll probably then cite you for failing to register a vehicle. Ahhh, government at work.

iSitt 0

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 14:20

check if your identity has been stolen.

Comments

WhiteZoneRedZone 6

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:20

You write a letter trying to explain you don't own a car, they'll probably then cite you for failing to register a vehicle. Ahhh, government at work.

iSitt 0

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 14:20

check if your identity has been stolen.

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 17:53

They won't cite her if she is not old enough to drive. They probably ment to send it to her folks?

scarsofaddiction 0

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:27

wtf? you have to have a car to get a parking ticket... this makes no sense

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:00

thats why it's a FML

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:54

That's why it's most likely FAKE . but anyways , IF, by any chance this is real, then there is hope.

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 15:19

you stupid hoe

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 15:46

really??! wow youre a fucking genius...

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 18:28

HAHAHA. HAHA.

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:22

she means where the fuck did they place this parking ticket as it's normally on the windscreen ? they didn't just walk up and give it to a person this is obviously a bullshit fml

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:30

Did you stop reading after the fifth word?

Send a private message

Friday 26 August 2011 15:33

PEOPLE!! it says she got it in the mail! Retards....

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:12

5- no shit, that's why its on this website.

Send a private message

Tuesday 9 October 2012 5:14

Um duh that's why it's a FML

T9FTW 20

Send a private message

Friday 2 November 2012 4:41

I choked on iced tea laughing at this comment. You just stated the obvious, commenting that it's nonsense. LOL

Send a private message

Saturday 26 January 2013 22:28

it happens. I had a friend who received a letter from the dmv saying his license was suspended. He never had a license, called the dmv and resolved the issue.

fthku 13

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:32

Big effing deal, you got a parking ticket which you won't have to pay for. Oh no, you have to re-send a letter with some explanation, how fucked your life is!

RedPillSucks 31

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 14:35

There is a possibility, like #19 said, that OPs identity has been stolen, then this is definately an FML

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:49

Yeah, there's a pretty easy solution... "Hey cops, I don't own a car" simple.. Not worth whining about imho..

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 12:50

Are you over weight ?

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:04

WTF? how is that relevant to anything? haha funny. Nice dog by the way.

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:08

meh, they will just beat you up for making them look stupid

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:20

What The Fu*k HOW?

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:25

the most laughable FML I've ever seen here

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:37

You must be new here.

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 22:02

#15 agree

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 22:39

#15 I was thinking the same thing

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:28

write a letter explaing how you do not have a car and how outragous it is for you to get a parking ticket for that. then they will argue that u jut haven registered your car so just relax and leave it alone. go bury it in your yard somewhere

Send a private message

Monday 14 February 2011 13:43

Were they just handing them out or something? How does that happen?

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 27

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 22

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 182

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 257