Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car.... - FML

By Roxas - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39699

You deserved it

3221

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Trust

Damp, dark night

By Poordaughter5 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11045

You deserved it

760

Tweet

Share

By ECullen - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56617

You deserved it

24878

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23734

You deserved it

12012

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26524

You deserved it

2034

Tweet

Share

By dude i am so sorry - United States - Richmond

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13239

You deserved it

4186

Tweet

Share

By j - Canada

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18362

You deserved it

30109

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1552

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By rejected - United States

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

156793

You deserved it

28768

Tweet

Share

By StupidDentist - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37839

You deserved it

3161

Tweet

Share

By "ZeroG57"

Today my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement". Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4080

You deserved it

457

Tweet

Share

By - United States - Washington

Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2155

Phew, glad it wasn't me

309

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30255

You deserved it

2873

Tweet

Share

By Annie - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21721

You deserved it

9186

Tweet

Share

By epicsquishii - United States - Riverbank

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31800

You deserved it

3435

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46488

You deserved it

6265

Tweet

Share

By FathersDay - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41351

You deserved it

20955

Tweet

Share

By cactii - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35340

You deserved it

14359

Tweet

Share

By freakofnature - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22451

You deserved it

2371

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27177

You deserved it

3653

Tweet

Share

By alltimelove

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25397

You deserved it

9957

Tweet

Share

By Thalassophobic - United States

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10627

You deserved it

51748

Tweet

Share

By tubby - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32219

You deserved it

3594

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24719

You deserved it

2417

Tweet

Share

By

Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2101

You deserved it

210

Tweet

Share

By anythingjean - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64494

You deserved it

9706

Tweet

Share

By Llamadroid - United States - Los Angeles

Today, out of my whole class, I received no awards. All my teachers thought that I would get plenty from the others. Now people think I'm stupid. I have a 3.66 GPA and they won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12605

You deserved it

1442

Tweet

Share

By workaholic - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42328

You deserved it

7409

Tweet

Share

By Jeanine - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68611

You deserved it

5682

Tweet

Share

By j_babydoll6520 - Australia

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41544

You deserved it

3129

Tweet

Share

By Ford

Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5552

You deserved it

505

Tweet

Share

By lollipopp56 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

148868

You deserved it

13750

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48585

You deserved it

5509

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40511

You deserved it

12937

Tweet

Share

By Username - Korea Republic of

Today, I was sitting on the porch of my apartment when my drunk upstairs neighbour decided to take a piss. I got my first golden shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1805

You deserved it

111

Tweet

Share

By lacucarcha - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, my boyfriend flamboyantly proposed to me in a packed restaurant. I promptly had a panic attack and fainted in front of at least fifty people and a full mariachi band. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24967

You deserved it

2244

Tweet

Share

By jessye1182 - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22607

You deserved it

6208

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32510

You deserved it

3152

Tweet

Share

By whoops - United States

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19368

You deserved it

88605

Tweet

Share

By LonelyBoy - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15628

You deserved it

26841

Tweet

Share

By Cellismasher - United States

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38611

You deserved it

18422

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By WhiteZoneRedZone | 6

#2082214 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:20

You write a letter trying to explain you don't own a car, they'll probably then cite you for failing to register a vehicle. Ahhh, government at work.

By iSitt | 0

#2082551 - Monday 14 February 2011 14:20

check if your identity has been stolen.

COMMENTS

By WhiteZoneRedZone | 6

#2082214 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:20

You write a letter trying to explain you don't own a car, they'll probably then cite you for failing to register a vehicle. Ahhh, government at work.

Reply

iSitt | 0

#2082551 - Monday 14 February 2011 14:20

check if your identity has been stolen.

Reply

I_R_Genius | 3

#2082873 - Monday 14 February 2011 17:53

They won't cite her if she is not old enough to drive. They probably ment to send it to her folks?

By scarsofaddiction | 0

#2082237 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:27

wtf? you have to have a car to get a parking ticket... this makes no sense

Reply

6969awesome | 0

#2082365 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:00

thats why it's a FML

Reply

ConfusionsLoveMe | 0

#2082504 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:54

That's why it's most likely FAKE .
but anyways , IF, by any chance this is real, then there is hope.

Reply

josephhhhhh | 0

#2082611 - Monday 14 February 2011 15:19

you stupid hoe

Reply

mightymart | 5

#2082651 - Monday 14 February 2011 15:46

really??! wow youre a fucking genius...

Reply

mintcar | 9

#2082929 - Monday 14 February 2011 18:28

HAHAHA.
HAHA.

Reply

carmenm | 6

#2084362 - Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:22

she means where the fuck did they place this parking ticket as it's normally on the windscreen ? they didn't just walk up and give it to a person this is obviously a bullshit fml

Reply

mudkipsan | 19

#2084372 - Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:30

Did you stop reading after the fifth word?

Reply

16rrpass | 0

#3182643 - Friday 26 August 2011 15:33

PEOPLE!! it says she got it in the mail! Retards....

Reply

aceman1992 | 9

#3690486 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:12

5- no shit, that's why its on this website.

Reply

adelaz | 0

#5021707 - Tuesday 9 October 2012 5:14

Um duh that's why it's a FML

Reply

T9FTW | 20

#5106941 - Friday 2 November 2012 4:41

I choked on iced tea laughing at this comment. You just stated the obvious, commenting that it's nonsense. LOL

Reply

BostonBear | 33

#5341335 - Saturday 26 January 2013 22:28

it happens. I had a friend who received a letter from the dmv saying his license was suspended. He never had a license, called the dmv and resolved the issue.

By fthku | 13

#2082258 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:32

Big effing deal, you got a parking ticket which you won't have to pay for.
Oh no, you have to re-send a letter with some explanation, how fucked your life is!

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#2082568 - Monday 14 February 2011 14:35

There is a possibility, like #19 said, that OPs identity has been stolen, then this is definately an FML

By stevenmx86 | 7

#2082333 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:49

Yeah, there's a pretty easy solution... "Hey cops, I don't own a car" simple.. Not worth whining about imho..

By three3_fml | 2

#2082336 - Monday 14 February 2011 12:50

Are you over weight ?

Reply

atomicJ | 0

#2082374 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:04

WTF? how is that relevant to anything? haha funny. Nice dog by the way.

By KennKenn | 0

#2082389 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:08

meh, they will just beat you up for making them look stupid

By frankq555 | 3

#2082415 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:20

What The Fu*k HOW?

By Saluton | 18

#2082433 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:25

the most laughable FML I've ever seen here

Reply

Doortje | 28

#2082470 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:37

You must be new here.

Reply

bob90079 | 0

#2083339 - Monday 14 February 2011 22:02

#15 agree

Reply

WesleyS1 | 0

#2083402 - Monday 14 February 2011 22:39

#15 I was thinking the same thing

By shayshaw | 0

#2082445 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:28

write a letter explaing how you do not have a car and how outragous it is for you to get a parking ticket for that. then they will argue that u jut haven registered your car so just relax and leave it alone. go bury it in your yard somewhere

By misstamz | 0

#2082485 - Monday 14 February 2011 13:43

Were they just handing them out or something? How does that happen?