The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 918
You deserved it 6 517

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Xquisite1 28

Now you need to come up with a way to get him back even grosser. Make him regret doing it and see the humor in it, not the disgust. :P


Now you need to come up with a way to get him back even grosser. Make him regret doing it and see the humor in it, not the disgust. :P

10- Considering she has to sleep in the bed as well, that might not be the best idea...

TheTwistedOtaku 16

Fart in a bottle and chase him around the house with it.

OP's husband is pretty funny, not gonna lie. An asshole, but funny.

Next time you're in the shower together, and he thinks it's going to be sexy time, pee in your hands and throw it on him!

LOL 37, how original. I wouldn't mind trying that, if only I had a sene of smell :/

Xquisite1 28

2- I almost always click YDI on FML's like this for that exact reason.

Inheritance 10

That must be what's 'in' these days. Such an un-stoodable fetish.

morgiebear15 10

I hate when people hit YDI half the time it not their fault

Not all guys are like that, but you should be glad you have a creative and original one.

I'd go with immature and annoying instead... Of course, some people find that funny though I'd assume the wife doesn't as she posted an FML about it.

Ah, a classical joker. Just be glad he limited it to farting.

It could be something nastier, like leaving the toilet seat up.

33- Leaving the toilet seat up isn't "nasty" it's bothersome.

lelo007 11

I've never seen the issue in putting the toilet seat down after a man is done. After all, we don't put it up for them when we finish.

Guys use a toilet one way, girls another. I don't see why one way should actually top another. I think most people who are hot on health and safety tend to keep it down as it needs to be down to close the cover. However, if you don't bother with the cover then I don't see why it should be an issue. Why should the guy do everything? He has to put it up AND put it down whilst women expect everything to be done for them. The most fair way would just be to leave it however you leave it but expect to have to move something if you go in there after someone of the opposite sex.

I get the point. It's just a pet peeve for me :P

TellMeWhatsDeath 14

Your husband sounds hilarious:D

flutter4 7

My husband does nasty shit like that too. He usually farts in his hand and throws it in my face or holds me under the covers after he farts. It's gross but at least he has a personality.

LiterOfCola 16

I don't understand how the husband is awesome..? He sounds like a tool. And 45 I don't believe that qualifies as personality

LiterOfCola 16

I meant to write hilarious instead of awesome.

TellMeWhatsDeath 14

59- Well people think differently on things. You think he's a tool, I think he's funny. End of story.

Gross! I would have smacked him across the ******* face! Jeez your husband sucks ass! Js

TellMeWhatsDeath 14

You don't even know him so you can't go and say he sucks ass because of what you just read. Besides, I think this is ******* hilarious:'D

Does your husband have a kick ass sense of humor? No? I didn't think so.

Awe c'mon. It's just some butt wind. Is it seriously going to kill her? Harm her in any way? People need to learn how to lighten up and laugh it off. He's probably just trying to make her laugh, in an odd way.

Yeah, this is from the obnoxious little twit who says "men r *****" in her profile info. I seem to recall saying this exact same thing in the past, but it clearly bears repeating. You really seem to have a way with words. A way of ******* them all up, that is. Can you please just go away now? Far away?

Trix_Disorder 20

Overreaction much? Farts are funny.

That escalated quickly... Yeesh, physical voilence over some flatulence is a bit much.

Contrary to what my second grade teacher once told me, farts are still funny when I'm in my twenties. Your husband is, therefore, hilarious.

pabst4america 1

Agreed its simple math. Farts=hilarious. Husband farts so by transitive property, husband=hilarious

It's your husband accept him how he is, obviously you were attracted to him at one point.

I'm sure she's still attracted to him. He was just playing around and having fun; it doesn't mean she can't take a joke and instantly hates him because he pranked her.

kalingriffin 2

Lol I think it's funny. Sounds like my husband. I like a man that can open up in front of his wife! True love :)

Trix_Disorder 20
kalingriffin 2

Lol I didn't know how else to say it!

Trix_Disorder 20

"Relax," "Take a load off," and "Let himself go," are all equally as bad. How about "Be himself"?

He's just trying to say he loves you in a new way each day. Your the only girl who has exclusive rights to his farts. It's true love, don't you see?