Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
AliSama 17
that is not a bad thing. People get sick and everyone goes to the bathroom.
csigabajnok 0
So what? He thought girls never do the "poop" thing or a female fart is just a myth? Wake up, son!
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Comments (160)
greenman_fml 0
#60 how dare you. you think all Americans adore poop? false. we are just not ashamed of our bodily functions. the Chinese view burping as a complement, do they lack a cultural background as well? you're ethnocentrism disgusts me. As i said, mrs. explosive diarrhea should not be ashamed of her natural excretions. when you gotta go, you gotta go. plain and simple
Miss_Kelsea 0
Well, you see, that's when you make a masturbation joke silly. Haha.
MikeRat 0
Shit happens
loveables 0
LMAO.
00Problematic00 0
Your boyfriend's trying to intentionally embarrass you? Sounds like an inferiority complex.
merv243 0
If you guys can't laugh about poop then it's probably not going anywhere
KingMissile9 0
you're an idiot. poop is always funny. always. and guys joke about funny things. get over yourself!
UpperSanctuary 0
He wasn't going to go near your ass with his face anytime soon. I doubt he was aroused. You should have taken a shower afterwards. No wonder most dumb girls end up with infections. They don't use their brains and shower the crap off. You are an idiot. There is nothing cute about this. No wonder most Americans are slobs in public bathrooms, you're slobs in private bathrooms, too. Sexy is being clean, not advertising that you have a stomach disorder. Diarheaa happens because you ate something bad, or prepared it badly or you are fat and have digestive disorders. Naked and sexy, that's a given, stinky diarhea, that makes a person throw up. Well, I am sure he;ll find someone with better hygiene habits. *hahahaha* What an idiot, probably a fattie too.
jSOPURE 3
^ Sounds like someone's constipated. Nature calls to anyone, male or female.
Lila_fml 0
#80, wow, you are the idiot. Shit happens, I bet its happened to you too.