Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
AliSama 17
that is not a bad thing. People get sick and everyone goes to the bathroom.
csigabajnok 0
So what? He thought girls never do the "poop" thing or a female fart is just a myth? Wake up, son!
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Comments (160)
blueworld_fml 0
Did he at least ask if you were ok?
blueworld_fml 0
UpperSanctuary, reading back over this thread, I seriously wish they could just moderate all of your comments out. The next time you have explosive diarrhea, I'm automatically and emphatically declaring that YDI, regardless of the circumstances.
MozillaFirefox 0
UpperSanctuary is obviously just Kim Jong-il trolling American websites.
criminalreborn 0
lol HA
24788 7
It happens to everyone, but it turns off people. Just wait a few hours he's a guy!
melovepopeyes 0
yay!! time for butt sex
egypt_fml 0
LMFAO @ #55 And LMFAO @ OP, it sounds like he was okay with it though cause if he would have thought it was weird or disgusting, he would have just awkwardly stayed silent. I think it's hilarious he mentioned it to you though.
egypt_fml 0
@ UpperSanctuary. With all the shit spewing from your brain, you'd think you would actually know how to spell the word "diarrhea" correctly. Please make sure you use a dictionary before calling us a bunch of retards. You're calling us stupid, but you're the one going "HAHAHAHA YOUR BOYFRIEND HEARD YOU POOP HE'LL PROBABLY DUMP YOU NOW HOW UNSEXY LOLOL" Seriously, how old are you? I think you need to grow up and realize that everyone takes a shit and several people AROUND THE WORLD have dealt with diarrhea and it happens when it happens, it's not like you can hold it. So I don't know why you're generalizing Americans about being slobs in bathrooms. What I don't get is why you're telling us that we love poop, when you've posted quite a few comments on here.. they're all a decent length also. I even think you've posted more comments than anyone else here. Come on, admit it. You secretly love poop too ;) I won't take your word on you never having diarrhea, because seeing how digusted and ashamed you seem about this, I doubt you'd ever actually admit having it. CUZ UR LYEK 2 SEXI 2 HAZ IT OMGDZ. My guess is that you're still in high school and you're either being serious or you're just trying to piss people off on here, because it's the highlight of your day.
egypt_fml 0
Before anyone points it out- Disgusted. Yeah, I noticed.
R3TH0R 0
hell yeah #130, though my bet is that he doesnt have a life, doesnt know how to get laid, and trolls this site because he doesnt have the ability to find other forms of entertainment. but seriously if those are his views on biological functions of the HUMAN body then he needs to either take an anatomy class or go outside and interact with other people; and frankly i believe that is total utter bullshit about him having a sex life, otherwise he would have said something about "if my girlfriend/wife did this i would so dump/divorce her" since he HATES shit/having diarrhea this vehemently