Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
AliSama 17
that is not a bad thing. People get sick and everyone goes to the bathroom.
csigabajnok 0
So what? He thought girls never do the "poop" thing or a female fart is just a myth? Wake up, son!
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Comments (160)
Tikal_fml 0
Haha, how embarrassing. I'm sure he doesn't mind though. ;)
grnhcat 0
hahaha that is so embarrassing i laughed so hard! i bet it will happen to me soon ha
ninja28104 0
LMAO!!! that is sooo funny but i feel bad for you
HOLLAcaust 0
I'm laughing a lot right now. I think if I was you I would have laughed a bit too. You gotta admit," I heard everything " in a whisper is just downright hilarious.
mzmaverickd 7
#s 56, 80 and 83... Wow get a life. It's a natural thing for our bodies to do. At least her boyfriend was cute about it. Sure it's a little awkward for her but she isn't disgusting and doesn't need an entire shower or to be dumped. Just wipe her ass good and we're fine. He laughed. Get over yourselves; you obviously have never been in long term relationships you lonely bastards!
hazz_fml 0
UpperSanctuary, EVERYONE gets ill. And I seriously wouldn't believe you if you told me you've never ever had diarrhoea in your life.
stfuxxn00b 0
Your boyfriend is a bastard. Does he consider your feelings? Doesn't he know that it will make you feel awkward and extremely embarassed? WTF is wrong with him? Its okay. You're human. Things happen. >< Oh, and I saw episode similar to this, on Sixteen. (Yeah, its this gay cartoonnetwork show.)
lap806 0
MY SOUL SISTA! ive been there gurl, i had explosive dia tonight too. Today, i was locked out of my house so i had explosive diarrhea in my front lawn. FML. true story ^^^
msmil401 0
I don't know why I think this story is so effing funny. I too have had embarrassing stomach issues while I was sleeping with my man, but I would either rush him into leaving or taking me home so I could do the doo, or I turn on the vent to drown out the noise. This is unfortunate but frickin hilarious.
UpperSanctuary 0
#101 is a smart girl. Like me, she will probably have a long relationship with lots of sex. I've been married a good long while and we have never been in the bathroom while either of us is taking a crap, let alone get into listening to stinking sick diarhea. That is why my sex life is good. You have to keep some things private, in order to keep the passion hot. We still see each other as sex objects, yet have had some kids, and have worked on having a big house, with all the things happy couples have. My secret to a good long passionate sex life- Don't let yourself come across as disgusting and gross. Once it happens, you have to bear that ugliness. The diarhea girl was too stupid to think that she might want to cover up her splattering stomach illness and the noises and the sounds. Hahaha- she probably has a bad sex life and won't make a good partner, she's too stupid. *LMFAO*