Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
AliSama 17
that is not a bad thing. People get sick and everyone goes to the bathroom.
csigabajnok 0
So what? He thought girls never do the "poop" thing or a female fart is just a myth? Wake up, son!
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Comments (160)
nyah_nyah 0
OH. MY. GOD. total lolzfest. i swear... i was like... trying to read this one to my friend over the phone and i was laughing SO HARD she couldnt even understand me... but yeah... at least he didnt like... freak out or something.
BetsySnow 0
Aw, your bf sounds cute for whispering that! So cute! :)
pewp 5
i laughed. im sorry, but its funny. its normal to be embarrassed for something like that. but in reality, no one should care about any 'bathroom noises' that come from their boyfriend/girlfriend. i hope he was just saying that to kid around with you. i joke like that too.
Imthatgirlthere 0
What's with uppersanctuary? Are you always such a dick? Really?
jennaleighhh 0
shit happens. literally.
Majstr 23
I was thinking the same.
AMelodyofJuly 0
This one made me laugh out loud. It was the whispering. lol I think your boyfriend has a good sense of humor.
Damius 0
Meh, to be honest it isn't a huge deal. I usually sit and talk with my girlfriend while she's in the shitter so, this is nothing. If it's really a huge deal, tell him I tell him to grow up. They're just bowel movements. Not like his shit smells like roses or anything right??
Savannahf 0
Yah I would want to dig myself in a hole at that moment...but he could have asked if you were okay or something...I'm sorry!
Meta_fml 0
LOL! I personally like being open about this stuff with my boyfriend - it makes a whole slew of fart and poop jokes possible. I don't know what it does to our sex life, but it keeps us laughing, which is at least as important. :)
ill 0
hahahahaha. You're an angel for sharing this wonderful laugh, probably one of the best FML's.... even tho it's more of an anecdote than an FML, he's obviously a funny guy and come on, you've had your junk in each others' mouths', what's hearing a few farts going to change...