Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
AliSama 17
that is not a bad thing. People get sick and everyone goes to the bathroom.
csigabajnok 0
So what? He thought girls never do the "poop" thing or a female fart is just a myth? Wake up, son!
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Comments (160)
Stephen_fml 0
#17 i thought you were gonna talk about the part when those 2 college girls were playing "Battleshit"
Ordinary_Zena 0
oh man thats awful!! but it's life, at least he was cool about it!
perfect_10 0
You should have screamed his name when doing it.... or just groaned/grunted loudly. Nothing makes me feel better than a good quality shit and I want my whole apartment to know it... lol!
UpperSanctuary 0
You're not too bright. A smart girl always turns on the water in the faucet full blast to drown out the unappealing sounds you were making. You're so stupid, you probably left him a brown mess to see when he picks up the seat to pee. After he gags and heaves from your shit stains, he'll probably start to think up ways to dump your stinking diarhea ass. As soon as your nasty ass gets out of bed, he's sure to whip those sheets into the washing machine. You are a disgusting dumb ass. If you want a long term relationship, keep the diarhea private, it's not sexy, you idiot. Oh, well, you're as good as dumped. *lol*
streetmember 0
that's no FML! this is cute as hell :)
Amkii 0
Ew, like, omg, he HEARD you being a HUMAN? SIIIICK! Seriously, wtf. Who cares if he heard? Isn't he also a human? As long as you didn't crap the bed, I don't see what the problem is.
UnknownSadSack 0
Honestly I don't think its that bad, now if he said he was utterly aroused by it and could you do it for him again...yeah that would be bad. Well not bad but disturbing.
4ube_fml 6
Ok, this adoration of the poop is very very american (for a 250 Y-O country it's normal not to have any cultural background). I'm french and i realy don't get it. I lived almost a year in Kentucky at a soldier's home, and i still don't get it. WHY ?? Anyway i mostly agree with comments, not a f¨cked life, but if she tried to be as silent as possible but he still heard, she got F.. because she though she was very discrete and etc..
Puolukka 4
#60 Haha...I'm from Germany and I don't get it either... :D
FurryChest 0
your boyfriend possesses a WONDERFUL sense of humor!!! hahahahaa