Animals: Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong... - FML

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 513

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Same thing different taste

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 152

You deserved it 3 984

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 814

You deserved it 5 370

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 192

You deserved it 1 985

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 123

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 115

You deserved it 7 490

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 766

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

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Top comments

Domonator 16

Friday 19 February 2010 16:32

Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML

lexuality 0

Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.

Comments

lottaluv 0

Friday 19 February 2010 18:53

did not need to kno this info

paramorefan125 0

Friday 19 February 2010 18:58

ugh, sick .....fyl dude

Pomo 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:05

As said before the 8 spiders legend is totally false. Proof here : http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp

Sophia93 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:06

ew

xMyazXtr3me 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:12

ughhhhh dude I would puke if that happened to me. I hate spiders.

aback 4

Friday 19 February 2010 19:14

Mmm...spidelicious.

23basketball 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:22

Haha! That is freaking disgusting!!

CallMeHush 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:26

There was an old woman who swallowed a spider, That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallowed the fly, Perhaps she'll die.

angry_girl 0

Friday 19 February 2010 22:25

FTW

heykelsey 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:25

over 9000 points to you

zdizzle123 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:54

haha I have that book!!! :) it's bomb diggitay!!!

zdizzle123 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:57

^ oops this comment was supposed to be attached to 52 :)

babybubz 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:32

EEEEEW! I would've passed out. I have arachnophobia and even seeing a spiders LEG would make me freak. that sucks OP.. 

Conker37224 0

Friday 19 February 2010 20:09

that sounds mmm so good

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Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Insects Fear Cats Skincare Health Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Dogs Animals Fire Awkward Scams Transportation Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

The Top

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You deserved it 192

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

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The Top

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

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You deserved it 28 274

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You deserved it 28 871

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You deserved it 6 789

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 122

You deserved it 3 904

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 368

You deserved it 6 161

Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 046

You deserved it 4 042