Animals: Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in... - FML

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 159

You deserved it 1 974

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Top comments

LoverWordsFood 27

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

Nope, Nope, Nope and No Fucking Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*

DeathofCareBear 21

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:38

Isn't that touching...

Comments

DeathofCareBear 21

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:38

Isn't that touching...

gte225 11

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:51

Nope.

tantanpanda 26

Friday 24 July 2015 1:29

Cinderella would be proud!

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Friday 24 July 2015 3:20

A little too touchy mostly on the spiders part

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Friday 24 July 2015 6:44

According to scientists (whom I believe more than internet attention whores, though that's just me being weird), spiders do not crawl into peoples mouth while they sleep. So I have no choice but to call OP a liar.

5secondsofvvifi 21

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Friday 24 July 2015 8:58

So touching, I now don't want to go to sleep. It's like 3am though and I kind of have to. Perfect

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:39

Pretty sure my husband would've died of an anxiety and heart attack!

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Friday 24 July 2015 13:34

wouldn't we all?

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Friday 24 July 2015 19:16

Nope.

theusediscool 26

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:40

NOPE! GOTTA SET THE ROOM ON FIRE NOW!!

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:01

More like mouth on fire...

ProfessorMctitie 20

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:33

more like setting yourself on fire

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Friday 24 July 2015 19:17

Come on, spiders are adorable.

Naggie_May23 6

Friday 24 July 2015 20:40

What's burning your room/the house down going to accomplish? Every time I read an FML about spiders, everyone screams, "Burn the house down!" or some variation thereof. You can't get rid of spiders no matter what you do. And as scary as they are, we need them to get rid of the flies and the mosquitoes. Plus, I hear mint oil is a better, non-fire way of getting rid of those sons of bitches.

olpally 32

Friday 24 July 2015 0:40

Kill it with fire!!!

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:41

That's horrible, sorry you had to go through that!

LoverWordsFood 27

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

Nope, Nope, Nope and No Fucking Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:43

To all the "kill it with fire!" Comments, remember that the spider is IN HER MOUTH. That would not end well.

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:45

Kill it with hot sauce!

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:21

Its a "he"

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Friday 24 July 2015 4:07

If i woke up to a spider in my mouth, my soul would leave my body

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Friday 24 July 2015 6:22

Yeah we know what's the problem?

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:43

Did you burn down your house? Because that's what you should have done.

llamingo 8

Friday 24 July 2015 20:54

Lol that was really funny

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:44

Reading this made my skin crawl.. i feel so bad for you. i would have cried real jesus tears.

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:45

Lol what are "real Jesus tears"?

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:47

Authentic holy tears #11 .

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:15

tears that are blessed by the pope and used in exorcisms are real jesus tears...

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:26

You get real Jesus tears by burning the hell out of them.

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Friday 24 July 2015 0:46

All aboard the nope train.

domolovesyoshi 33

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Friday 24 July 2015 1:32

I'll take one 'noway' ticket please

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Friday 24 July 2015 4:58

I'll take a ticket to Fuckthatville.

Nearly

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 18

Today, I ate an apple. It was good. It was red. inside was not red. red is cool. cool things are red. I like pizza. pizza is good. pizza has the letter Z in it. Z is a cool letter. I like Z. I wonder why zzz means sleeping. Sleeping has an S and not a Z. I like winning. Winning is good. Losing is bad. Bad is not good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 32

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me with my "best friend" on our 6-year anniversary, the 11th of November. He'd left the next morning with no explanation, and she even picked me up to go get ice cream. Three days later we even went Christmas shopping together. How could they do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 95

Today, I discovered my husband of 8 years has been replying to an OnlyFans models pics on Twitter. Two weeks ago, I'd found his secret Instagram that only follows two OF models, and she's one of them. He also watches her on Twitch. He doesn't know I know. We've only had sex twice in the last year because he "doesn't think about sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 212