Animals: Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong... - FML

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 513

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Same thing different taste

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 152

You deserved it 3 984

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 814

You deserved it 5 370

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 192

You deserved it 1 985

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 123

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 115

You deserved it 7 490

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 766

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

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Top comments

Domonator 16

Friday 19 February 2010 16:32

Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML

lexuality 0

Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.

Comments

bms1996 12

Monday 18 July 2011 6:12

*HURL*

Splayd 10

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:36

Without looking, I can guarantee that some moron is going to state the (false) statistic that, while sleeping, humans swallow a certain number of spiders a year.

odeather 8

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:50

You know the average person eats 8 spiders every night? Just sayin not as uncommon as you think..... Because of this our body has adapted to control this type of thing from happening.... Think about it you don't want the spider outside biting you all over especially if it's poisonous

CosMicShelle 5

Thursday 6 September 2012 6:38

Actually, the average person eats about 8 spiders in their lifetime... Not 1000.

MacWorms 10

Tuesday 8 April 2014 22:18

Don't worry I eat spider for lunch on Saturdays their delightful LET THE THUMBS DOWN BEGIN

123Puppy 33

Thursday 11 April 2019 7:13

I feel SO bad for you! ☹️

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Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

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It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

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Today, and since yesterday, I've received numerous tearful, and sometimes angry, phone calls from my mom. The calls were not about her health issues, my kids, or even my dad losing his job. No, she was angry-crying about the FBI raid at Trump's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

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Today, the bus I needed to catch, that replaced the train I needed to catch, to get the flight home was full. I had to get a taxi instead. £140 to the nearest working train station. FML

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Today, I'm unloved by my partner. She has not made love with me for one and a half years. On our anniversary two years ago, she told me we had nothing to celebrate, that I had achieved nothing in more than a decade we have been together. I lost 25 kgs and got a new job earning around 80K a year. Still nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 229

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

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Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

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You deserved it 2 013

Today, I was drunk at a festival. I finally found the chippy, only to spend 7 quid on chips and curry sauce that my deck chair was never going to let me eat. FML

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You deserved it 944