Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really... - FML

By GeneralElement - 19/2/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

30791

You deserved it

3620

Tweet

Share

Headache

What did I do?

Trust

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 16:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43340

You deserved it

13115

Tweet

Share

By anon - 24/5/2012 18:59 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30308

You deserved it

2640

Tweet

Share

By NotSoCool - 15/5/2009 04:41 - Singapore

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12448

You deserved it

42546

Tweet

Share

By Electric Eddy - 22/5/2017 00:00

Today, I got up at 2:30 a.m. to catch an early flight home. I was tired and drowsy and took a quick shower to wake me up. Two minutes in, the water turned scalding hot on all settings. I ended up having to rinse my hair with bottles of sparkling water from the hotel minibar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4133

You deserved it

352

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 8/3/2010 15:12 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41493

You deserved it

4953

Tweet

Share

By dummy - 17/2/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32572

You deserved it

5629

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/1/2015 01:43 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33618

You deserved it

2766

Tweet

Share

By dangeronpa - 14/6/2019 02:32

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1576

You deserved it

189

Tweet

Share

By Iceicebaby - 15/2/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after getting out the car and closing the door, I began walking and slipped on some black ice. In the moment of panic, I grabbed onto my car wing mirror. Luckily, I didn't hit the deck. Unluckily, the wing mirror broke off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5096

You deserved it

639

Tweet

Share

By WHOO HOO AIDS - 1/6/2013 18:52 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48518

You deserved it

3710

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/2/2012 08:01 - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26365

You deserved it

2255

Tweet

Share

By hard worker - 22/8/2016 01:03

Today, I gave my boss 2 weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16191

You deserved it

1595

Tweet

Share

By Username - 2/8/2011 06:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36762

You deserved it

2836

Tweet

Share

By Mr. Sensitive Nips - 17/3/2011 22:38 - United States

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49392

You deserved it

9344

Tweet

Share

By Cannot Unknow - 21/1/2017 16:00

Today, my wife and I drove to the other side of the country to attend a swinger party where we thought no one knew us. So did my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9739

You deserved it

2371

Tweet

Share

By Braced - 21/2/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9077

You deserved it

38691

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33557

You deserved it

3195

Tweet

Share

By b. - 24/9/2009 10:06 - Australia

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32022

You deserved it

10763

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/6/2013 17:18 - Czech Republic

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49654

You deserved it

3005

Tweet

Share

By TiredParent - 9/10/2018 12:00

Today, I had to take my eyes off my kid for a minute to respond to an important work email. I was about to click send when I heard a flushing sound and mad giggling. It was the TV remote. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2489

You deserved it

510

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/1/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37551

You deserved it

3248

Tweet

Share

By fmynote - 27/8/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I wrote a note for my crush of 2 years, expressing all my feelings for him signed it as "Forever your lover" then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked back up to me, tossed the note at me and said "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44205

You deserved it

29645

Tweet

Share

By reallyupset - 29/11/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32862

You deserved it

3523

Tweet

Share

By - 29/4/2019 14:00

Today, after the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office and since he became buddy buddy with management, they believed him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1092

You deserved it

1807

Tweet

Share

By Alex Xavier - 25/6/2018 01:30

False Advertising

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4855

You deserved it

706

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/4/2014 23:49 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52945

You deserved it

5856

Tweet

Share

By spaghett - 29/8/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14056

You deserved it

1775

Tweet

Share

By chriss - 14/4/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

I agree, your life sucks

62862

You deserved it

14606

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 05:01 - Italy

Statistics

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1073

You deserved it

301

Tweet

Share

By shake666 - 4/12/2015 17:50 - United States - Fremont

Today, I presented my assigned chapter for a book we're currently reading in my English class. I really like the book, so I've been reading ahead. When I summarized the chapter, I accidentally spoiled a major plot twist that was actually in the next chapter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18025

You deserved it

13021

Tweet

Share

By wellthatsucks - 5/7/2015 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27685

You deserved it

2204

Tweet

Share

By FabFor87 - 19/12/2016 16:15 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6595

You deserved it

507

Tweet

Share

By Rafiki - 22/2/2010 03:14 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9251

You deserved it

31484

Tweet

Share

By dream_girl_3 - 8/3/2010 09:37 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8605

You deserved it

52075

Tweet

Share

By Pang - 19/12/2018 16:00

Today was the last my last day of high school ever, to celebrate me and my friends were going to go into the city and hang out for a bit. I missed the bus they caught into the city so I caught the next one, when I got there I asked where they were. They didn't respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2410

You deserved it

269

Tweet

Share

By thesaddestsoup - 2/2/2017 20:00 - Macedonia - Stip

Today, my long-distance relationship ended. The only thing my dad had to say to comfort me was that he hopes my phone bills will, "go back to normal now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7513

You deserved it

1328

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/1/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43493

You deserved it

3694

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/8/2011 19:48 - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30455

You deserved it

3388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/2/2016 14:56 - Netherlands

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23792

You deserved it

1711

Tweet

Share

By braceforcarnage - 2/12/2014 15:42 - United States

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42874

You deserved it

3142

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By gr8sexpectations | 0

#872365 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

i hate how everyone on this site thinks that a cute girl or hot guy talks to them because their gonna get laid, only to find out that their life is fucked

By perdix | 29

#872519 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:53

The winning comeback: Well, maybe you'd like to draw a back on my penis?

COMMENTS

By gr8sexpectations | 0

#872365 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

i hate how everyone on this site thinks that a cute girl or hot guy talks to them because their gonna get laid, only to find out that their life is fucked

Reply

silentfog | 0

#872448 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:25

agreed

Reply

theian01 | 3

#872613 - Friday 19 February 2010 17:34

Well put yourself in their perspective. Your lonely, not good with the opposite sex, and need some love. Well I assume that since no one can really turn anything into a joke with the other person to try to start something...

Reply

ey3seecold | 0

#872675 - Friday 19 February 2010 17:53

u shoulda asked her if she ever had one behind her and maybe she woulda took ur number the wh0le 7 digits from behind!!

Reply

sam411411 | 0

#872859 - Friday 19 February 2010 19:15

Today, I was going to ask the guy I like for his number. I walked by him, and noticed there was a penis on his back. Nevermind to my question. FML

Reply

JustStopSucking | 0

#872934 - Friday 19 February 2010 19:59

maybe the guy who drew the penis will be "pumping you with excitement" later

Reply

FUDGELOVESME | 0

#873589 - Friday 19 February 2010 23:47

that's so true

Reply

ButtNekked | 0

#874660 - Saturday 20 February 2010 6:52

AHAHAHAHA 38

Reply

TrueWord | 0

#1317131 - Sunday 29 August 2010 14:16

lmao at #38.. win win win..

Reply

DRock525 | 0

#2560992 - Wednesday 25 May 2011 7:21

sex related advice coming from the dude with a lizard in his face????

By Marino01 | 0

#872412 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:14

well, all in a day.

By Domonator | 16

#872414 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:14

The OP said, "back", not, "shirt", so maybe it's a tatoo.

Reply

reyemrein | 0

#872599 - Friday 19 February 2010 17:28

how could someone have given him a tattoo without him knowing? besides the girl said "drew".

Reply

Domonator | 16

#872792 - Friday 19 February 2010 18:43

True, and I misspelled "tattoo" too :(

By GeneralElement | 0

#872418 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:15

Well, I was thinking that same thing. Just, I think I was sleeping in a class at one point. So that may be when they drew it. :|

By KurouTenshi | 0

#872462 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:30

this is like the time princess Zelds came up to me, and I thought I was gonna get laid, but then I had to go save Hyrule D:

Reply

ColdGold | 6

#872495 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:45

Just exactly.

Reply

doughedambrose | 0

#1984927 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 11:19

COOL POINTS

By demoon_fml | 7

#872474 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:35

lol. Good one.

By perdix | 29

#872519 - Friday 19 February 2010 16:53

The winning comeback: Well, maybe you'd like to draw a back on my penis?

Reply

iAlwaysYDI | 0

#872590 - Friday 19 February 2010 17:25

LMAO, good one XD !

Reply

Gaz717 | 0

#873990 - Saturday 20 February 2010 1:50

at this point I'm just scrolling through the comments on each FML to look for perdix's comment

By mfmylifesrsly | 29

#872649 - Friday 19 February 2010 17:44

is this OP?

By Solisa149448 | 0

#872739 - Friday 19 February 2010 18:17

What a nerd. How can you get sooo nervous around someone? Just chill out.

By padlarf | 14

#872753 - Friday 19 February 2010 18:25

No, their names just happen to be excactly the same.