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It doesn't sound like she's trying at all to make the sex work. FYL indeed.
Sexual desire is an odd thing, for instance if I can't find a person I have a specific connection with, I'm perfectly fine by myself. Maybe the wife is like that too and has just lost that feeling of connection. Or maybe he's become like a brother to her and it feels icky? Could be many things.
What's with all of these sexless marriage FMLS lately? We need some aphrodisiacs up in here.
No, I've been married for a year, but I know the joy that my mother and father, and my mother's parents experienced. My mom and dad were married for 36 years until my mom passed away... and my grandparents were married for 58 until my grandfather passed away. They never complained about being bored. I see what you're saying, though. Chemistry is mandatory, and if there's resentment, the marriage will probably eventually fail.
If I was a girl, and my husband threw a kitchen utensil at me and told me to have fun with it, yeah, I would tell him the same. If he attempted to communicate his problems effectively (like erectile dysfunction), then no. Communication is key. OP's wife didn't even try.
I don't normally suggest this, but maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship. The sexless part is one thing, but her reaction to just having a discussion about it is just horrible.
A couple of years ago I would have totally agreed with you. But after my pregnancies my PMS got so bad that even though I really did my best to control my moods my hubby could tell immediately when I was about to menstruate. Thankfully the symptoms gradually subsided after about a year each time. Now I'm not so quick to dismiss PMS for such behavior anymore.
Maybe try a little romance. Chicks love that romantic crap!