Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
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Top comments
anon2468 0
meooooow!
abbi96x 0
When you get pregnant, don't expect your family to keep you. Bitch.
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Comments (259)
Perksofbeingawal 0
I saw a gopher give birth today at a park. pretty cool. :)
whiteboy7thst 2
Time to sell those kitties on craigslist.
Xmarshall16X 5
Hahah funny comment. I don't know why you got so many thumbs down. Some people have no sense of humor.
beccusmaximus 0
Is this supposed to be funny? That's actually a very good idea. Better than letting them out on their own to be euthanized. And if someone is willing to pay for a kitten, chances are they'll keep the little critter.
stormlvr 0
ahhh the miracle of life
St3WI3 0
wow, all my cats do is just sleep by me... hehe
St3WI3 0
why doesn't anyone like this comment
Reynard13 1
You deserve a lot worse than that for not spaying your cat. What the holy hell is wrong with you? Are you 12?
Leoboy635 0
Mabye OP wanted kittens,just not 4 in the morning nor on her bed.
Norwegian_Wood 4
It's also possible that OP adopted a pregnant cat.
geminiTwin4 3
I agree with 22. its irresponsible not to spay/neuter your pets
808Boyo 4
61 it's ok cause you're probably an irresponsible stuck up preppy bitch.
Sparx1_1 16
For all you know the OP IS 12 and has no real responsibility for taking care of the cat. So stop being a ******* and freaking out over something that you actually know almost nothing about.
nocanhaz 4
No but you have 12 votes against you at the moment.
Xxak907xX 0
how is it irresponsible to not spay/neuter your cat? maybe OP wanted to have kittens? there are plenty of people who do that or just don't want to spend the money doing that to them. and anyways, kittens can rake in a LOT of cash if you decide to sell them
kaytee83 0
kittens do NOT rake in a lot of cash, they cost a lot of cash when looked after properly! you complete idiot! if the OP wanted kittens she should have done her research and prepared a safe area for her cat to give birth, if she had done that, chances are that the cat wouldn't have given birth on her bed. And if she planned them, she shouldn't care that the cat gave birth on her bed.
shorty6823 28
My cat gave birth under my little bros crib. She walked around for like 20 minutes with a turd like kitten hanging out of her personals before she settled down.
flippers 0
omg this happened to me 9 months ago... when the kittens are born they seem dead, but then the mother licks them and they come to life. Amazing, I don't get how this is an FML besides the nastiness of the mother eating the placenta. Unless the cats become wild afterwards and leave your house, then **** the cat bitch.
OCDC 9
"**** the cat bitch" could be translated to many things. Here are a few: "**** the cat, bitch." Obviously telling OP that she is a bitch and she needs to **** her cat. "**** that, cat bitch." OP is a cat bitch (whatever that is) and is therefore not to be believed. "****, the cat bitch." Often said when someone sees a cat bitch outside of their house, or somewhere else one never expects a cat bitch to be. An exclamation, such as: "****! The cat bitch followed me home!"
312random213 14
Thanks for the the English lesson we don't care to hear
DemonLord_fml 0
that's happened to me with my dog
Capriccio22 13
The exact same thing happened to me too, only at 2:00am instead of 4:00. You just can't control where animals feel safe. We had a birthing area and everything, spent a fortune. But she decided to wreck my bedspread instead.
TheDarkCynder 2
have fun cleaning,
MaryPoppins88 14
actually they eat everything afterwards...oh yea true story so no mess lol and the kittens won't use a litter box for weeks either, cus mother eats that too..
ShyAnn29 15
so do dogs
Capriccio22 13
My cat must have been the exception because it was a hell of a job to clean my blankets after she gave birth on them! (Not op by the way, just another cat owner)
MissAimeeAngel 15
Eeeww. You weren't in the bed when it happened? Were you?
christiebaby578 9
no, she was skydiving. it was four in the morning where else would she be?
Ikdiy2009 0
spay and neuter your pets!!!