Where is my mind? - FML

Where is my mind?

By Holy fuck - 01/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 124

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 339

You deserved it 4 373

Spooky season

By fishyrael - 13/10/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 114

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 00:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 168

By fearofzombies - 13/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 307

You deserved it 13 240

Blacked out

By Darkness, Darkness - 18/11/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, I was awoken at the ungodly hour of 1 a.m. to find that everything was very dark and quiet. It took me way more time than I'd like to admit to figure out that there was a blackout. As I tried to doze off again, I was jump-scared by the sound of everything coming on again. This happened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 143

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 25/09/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 560

You deserved it 2 510

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 07/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 161

Bear with me

By bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 730

You deserved it 5 533

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 772

You deserved it 1 401

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 233

You deserved it 4 754

Next

Top comments

emmalou 19

Tuesday 2 April 2024 7:27

I must know where you purchase your black out curtains

Nikki 16

Monday 1 April 2024 22:45

Why would opening the curtains help?

Comments

Nikki 16

Monday 1 April 2024 22:45

Why would opening the curtains help?

TwoBytesCarley 26

Monday 1 April 2024 23:49

Cause there would be light, which would show OP that he was in his room immediately upon waking.

Nikki 16

Tuesday 2 April 2024 7:05

At 3am?

Gubbon 17

Tuesday 2 April 2024 9:15

Moonlight, street lamps

emmalou 19

Tuesday 2 April 2024 7:27

I must know where you purchase your black out curtains

wrecklesswfire 1

Tuesday 2 April 2024 20:53

I think I’d be freaked out too

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 321

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 728

You deserved it 8 730

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 415

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 10 551

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 446

You deserved it 8 462

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 208

You deserved it 45 452

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 833

You deserved it 3 532