By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City
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I find it interesting that a lot of commenters are calling the guy a douche, but if he had taken advantage of her (I'm assuming she was drunk; that's how she came across in the FML) then you guys would be calling the guy a lowlife, scum, etc. etc. etc. Plenty of contradictory statements on here....very interesting indeed.
147 - And why was he a douchebag? Because he didn't go with her or invited her to his place? Maybe he just wasn't interested in her in that way, even though they got along well. Or he just doesn't like to go home with girls he has just met. That doesn't mean he's a douchebag. For all we know he has a girlfriend and was just having a good time talking to her. Whichever it is, there's way too little information to be certain of his motives.
160- First of all, there is a difference between getting drunk and getting wasted. If you got wasted you wouldn't remember much about the previous night. This leads me to believe that you've had zero experience with alcohol. Not that I do, but I know enough about it to know that. Also, the FML actually states "Ater a few drinks...". Some people's tolerance could be so low they can get drunk after 1 cup. And even if OP wasn't drunk, she sure as hell was acting like it. Finally, I don't blame the guy for sending OP home. I already stated one of the reasons (double standards), but if he had in fact slept with her, and she was drunk, then she could accuse him of rape. Then comes the lawsuit/charges, and BAM! He's in jail. He , unlike you, must've factored all of this in, and decided it wasn't worth it to bang a girl he'd just met. So no, he isn't a douche. If anyone is, it's you.
He's not a douchebag for refusing her advances. He's a douchebag for the way that he did it. There are politer ways to go about it. Sorry I wasn't being clear. And how did you extrapolate from the FML above that she was acting drunk? It could be that she was acting drunk but I certainly don't have enough information to conclude that. Furthermore, what makes you think that I don't know the difference between getting drunk and getting wasted? I simply said that if she was able to remember that experience well enough to quote the guy and herself, she was probably still coherent. I'm pretty sure the "unable to consent" rule applies to those who are stumbling around or throwing up, and not to those who are simply buzzed. Of course, I'd have to be there in order to really make a judgement as to whether or not it's a good idea but in general, if you remember an experience well enough to quote the guy and yourself, you're probably still in buzzed territory ("probably" being the operative word here). It may be the case that she was drunk enough not to be able to consent but I certainly wouldn't conclude that from this FML.
Why the fuck is anyone a douchebag based on who they do or do not sleep with in ANY capacity? If he slept with her, good for him, its his choice. If he didn't, good for him, its his choice. People can sleep with whoever they want to, and don't need to justify it to anyone. Especially not a bunch of complete strangers online. I really cannot understand how your opinion of what works for you in your life needs to be the same as anyone elses. You people need to grow the fuck up and stop labelling people just because they are happy within their own choices and you need to judge everyone else just to justify your own opinions. This is not a situation that impacts on other people. Neither of them did anything wrong. 222, She's a stranger to him, he doesn't owe her anything and is free to leave whenever he chooses. Sure there are politer ways to go about it, but so what? I've seen plenty of females express their views on the matter much more violently and more aggressively. You should expect to be shot down if you put yourself out there like that, because it will happen sometimes. He did nothing wrong.
Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.
Self respect? How about "I love myself and my body so much I want to go out and do something fun for myself" (ie. have a few drinks and try to meet someone to connect with) if it was a man who posted I doubt you'd be attacking his self respect. Men are horny while girls are desperate for validation, right? If I ever would go try to pick someone up (which I don't, I can't even flirt well with guys I'm serious about xD) it would be because I wanted to have an enjoyable night, not out of lack of self respect. I got plenty of that, and I give no fucks what a stranger would think about how I live my life. You determine your own meaning, your own value based on what works for you. If what another person is doing isn't hurting anyone, why tell them they're wrong?
Idk, she thought he liked her...so I think it's kinda FYL for her...
First of all, I think it's "seductively"... Secondly, your life sucks, why would he call a cab for you two if he wasn't trying to persue you?
It clearly wasn't relatively harmless, considering that the OP took the time to write an FML about it. However, you are right, it would have been dishonest, and definitely wrong, but could you tell me that you have NEVER told a small white lie just so that the other person doesn't feel bad?
If he had said he had a girlfriend, we would be reading an FML along the lines of "Today I was hitting it off with a man at a bar and he didn't bother to mention he had a gf till I asked him if he wanted to come home with me. FML." You got mildly rejected, OP. It happens. Not everyone wants to go home with you. On to the next one.