Love: Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked...

By snowbum69 - 15/12/2013 08:38 - United States - Meridian

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 345

You deserved it 5 820

Love

Walk the line

Stuck together

Who's that?

By internetloser - 16/08/2017 16:15 - United States - Kewaskum

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How, you may ask? He used the Adult Swim "We should see other people" commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 520

You deserved it 276

By pantless - 21/03/2016 18:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was written up for being late to work. I was late because somebody in my dorm stole my pants. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 413

You deserved it 1 245

By Anonymous - 28/07/2012 22:15 - United Kingdom - Warwick

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 221

You deserved it 33 971

By Tally - 24/09/2009 16:16 - Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 682

You deserved it 2 848

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 19:59

Today, having split up with my husband, I tried to plan visitation so he could visit my sons, his stepkids, only to be told he has no intention of visiting kids that aren’t actually his, and that now we’re divorced they're entirely my problem and good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 987

By noonotme - 05/09/2010 21:51 - United States

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 6 638

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 870

You deserved it 1 952

Single life

By sadspinster - 29/09/2019 14:00

Today, I found out that both my younger sisters are bringing their boyfriends home for Christmas. The youngest is 25, and he's actually her fiancé. The other is 30, and she and her boyfriend have been living together for over a year. I'll be the 36-year-old spinster in the twin bed upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 306

By stillloveherthough - 26/02/2016 17:54 - Germany - Aachen

Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 2 010

By duh - 27/01/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 266

You deserved it 26 774

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 14:29 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 985

You deserved it 46 566

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 348

You deserved it 39 640

By diapermommy - 26/08/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 972

You deserved it 46 366

By CancerFdMyLife - 26/09/2013 13:50 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 063

You deserved it 3 481

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 14:02 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a surprise visitor at my place. A guy I was talking to a few months back. He said he was down my way getting gas and thought he’d stop by. He lives more than 45 minutes from my place, in the opposite direction, with about 20 gas stations between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 158

By ew - 03/07/2012 11:33 - United States - Garland

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 426

You deserved it 28 988

By Anonymous - 07/02/2016 07:49 - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 250

You deserved it 1 583

By Joy - 16/06/2010 14:42 - Denmark

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 19 181

By Allycat - 09/10/2013 01:19 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 073

You deserved it 5 091

By Dariya - 13/02/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 637

You deserved it 4 649

By ashleylynn17 - 25/02/2014 21:59

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 411

You deserved it 5 395

By LOTRfail - 27/07/2012 02:13 - United States - Malden

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 210

You deserved it 4 039

By wtf - 12/07/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 874

You deserved it 14 461

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 572

You deserved it 2 771

By Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bath room, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 341

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 341

You deserved it 1 382

By nolove - 14/11/2012 10:36 - Australia

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 420

You deserved it 3 639

By nopleasestopmother - 02/05/2014 23:03 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 3 649

By 14YearOld - 25/11/2011 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 822

You deserved it 7 976

By MT - 19/09/2012 17:25 - Finland

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 106

You deserved it 3 575

Dads gonna dad

By biggrl - 11/05/2021 08:00 - South Africa

Today, I had to ask my dad to drop me off at my doctor's appointment. He insisted on coming up to the waiting room with me. When my doctor came out, he greeted her with, "Hi, I'm the dad, but I won't sit in because she's a 'big girl now'." I'm 21, and I was at my gyno check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 101

By Anon - 05/01/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 4 632

By RiceCrispyTreats - 01/09/2015 16:46 - United States - Pelham

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 835

You deserved it 28 292

By sadgirl - 16/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom and the subject of marriage came up. She told me she hopes I'll find my prince charming very soon and leave her son alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 073

You deserved it 434

As a matter of fact…

By Hangryko - 11/05/2021 08:01 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mother told me to my face that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn't have had kids. Thanks, Mum. It's not like I asked to be born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 88

By CoolGuy69 - 12/09/2016 11:53 - Sweden - M?lnlycke

Today, I studied all night for a big test. I ended up falling asleep on the bus ride there. I woke up in a different province. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 992

You deserved it 1 829

By Hahaha - 29/01/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 680

You deserved it 40 144

By disturbedgd - 14/09/2016 11:29 - South Africa

Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 933

You deserved it 1 875

By radiant - 22/01/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 4 231

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 32 163

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Top comments

foxy_grampa 19

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:47

I'm sorry, that's such an awkward situation! I would've looked down and said "I wonder if a fall from this height would kill me"

Pwnzersome 7

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:47

That must of been one awkward hour.. Sorry OP.

Pwnzersome 7

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:47

That must of been one awkward hour.. Sorry OP.

ViRepz 28

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Sunday 15 December 2013 13:00

I hope OP took advantage of that time to at least become better friends and sus out why she said no to him. Constructive criticism is always a good thing.

BrockALee 14

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Sunday 15 December 2013 13:04

Yeah. That's why you don't ask people out in small spaces that you'll have to be in for a longer amount of time. It would have been awkward even if the lift wasn't stuck.

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 15 December 2013 13:10

The worst though is if your roommate is of the opposite sex and you ask them out. Very rarely does it work. My friend actually tried for a girl that he really likes who is also his roommate. He basically spilled his heart out to her, only to have her shoot him down and profess that she's actually a lot more interested in this guy that he absolutely hates (because the guy is a douchebag). Now he has to deal with the awkwardness of being around her, seeing the guy he hates, and hearing them break the bed at 2am....

Al_Egy 5

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Sunday 15 December 2013 15:23

Would he rather they "broke the bed" at an earlier, more convenient time?

Somuchart 3

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Sunday 15 December 2013 18:38

I bet the rest of the trip was awkward, hard to have fun when the other person doesn't feel the same. If you're friends with her, you'll probably have another go. Take it slower and it may just fall in place

DREAMCATCHERoooo 4

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Sunday 15 December 2013 20:10

I would think the girl should feel more awkward. She just broke his heart so now deal with it. Don't worry OP she just got an hour to see how cool you are and see its her loss.

gotaplanstan 28

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Sunday 15 December 2013 21:09

you forgot could of should of and would of, 1

incoherentrmblr 21

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Monday 16 December 2013 20:35

Well, that escalated abruptly...

foxy_grampa 19

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:47

I'm sorry, that's such an awkward situation! I would've looked down and said "I wonder if a fall from this height would kill me"

gidgiddonihah 11

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Sunday 15 December 2013 18:20

Haha I would be asking the same question. While I feel bad for the OP (and anyone else stuck on that lift), maybe the best time to ask isn't in the first 75% of the lift. Maybe ask right before you're getting off or better yet after you get off. That way, even if the lift doesn't stop, your not stuck in close proximity for the whole ride up.

snippit 18

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:47

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Rainhawk94 27

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Sunday 15 December 2013 15:55

Really? Awkies? I'm going to bang my head on the wall

kozzard 17

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Monday 16 December 2013 10:07

why ruin your brain cells? bang their head into the wall, you relive stress and they've already proven they're all out of them

minesbiggerr 25

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Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:02

Wait up 33 let me join you

graceinsheepwear 33

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:50

Wow. That conversation went downhill fast.

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:56

yeah OP's excitement about her came to an abrupt halt

ViRepz 28

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Sunday 15 December 2013 13:12

at least op didn't go all the way down on one knee

speakersboom 19

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Monday 16 December 2013 4:35

he got the cold shoulder. someone should lift his spirits.

ThomasBombadil 31

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:50

She might change her mind. You never know.

ashalayx 13

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Sunday 15 December 2013 15:52

we dont change our minds easily, were pretty stubborn

Rainhawk94 27

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Sunday 15 December 2013 16:01

There was this girl in high school who I asked out and spilled my heart out. She said no. And for a while i tried impressing her, to make her change her mind. She ended up yelling at me for trying to make her like me and never spoke to me again.

red225 14

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Sunday 15 December 2013 19:30

At first glance I thought your highschool story would've ended with you two getting together...that's a weird plot twist

marcranger 28

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Monday 16 December 2013 1:24

I like the plot twist. The sooner guys realize that girls don't simply exist as romantic interests and start accepting that no almost always means no, the easier all our lives and interactions will be.

IHATEFMYLIFE 26

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Monday 16 December 2013 1:48

Today, I went skiing with a group of friends. While going up on the ski life with one of my guy friends, he asked me out on a date. As I was about to say no, the ski lift broke. We were only halfway up. Lets just say the next hour was strangely awkward. FML

Zebediabolical 39

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Monday 16 December 2013 4:33

I agree. And the sooner women realize that life isn't a RomCom with a happy ending the better off we'll be.

StillUsesMyspace 22

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Tuesday 17 December 2013 6:38

5, You sound like one of those creeps who doesn't leave a girl alone. Learn to accept a "no" before they get a restraining order.

zahra_786 19

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Sunday 15 December 2013 12:52

That's when you save the day and make her realise how much of a hero you are, so she falls in love with you. Just kidding, it must have been so awkward.