Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started... - FML

By MDoremis - 24/2/2015 04:58 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29962

You deserved it

5311

Tweet

Share

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Who's a good boy?

Live dumping

By ohfantastic - 25/1/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25560

You deserved it

2345

Tweet

Share

By badparent - 8/4/2013 04:26 - Australia - Southport

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46936

You deserved it

6856

Tweet

Share

By Dan - 9/10/2017 04:30

John Tucker would've known what to do.

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1623

You deserved it

2893

Tweet

Share

By - 9/1/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5004

You deserved it

1160

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53171

You deserved it

3672

Tweet

Share

By whatthehell - 24/4/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67141

You deserved it

3728

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/11/2017 15:00

Today, some official photographs went live on our company website. As I took a closer look, I realised I was in the background of one photo unloading boxes from a van. My trousers were halfway down my ass, flashing my butt crack for the whole internet to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2717

You deserved it

1316

Tweet

Share

By oooooopss - 1/4/2012 06:44 - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7811

You deserved it

29327

Tweet

Share

By Karen - 31/8/2009 14:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45729

You deserved it

4767

Tweet

Share

By Jonathan Park - 5/3/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1303

You deserved it

141

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/1/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32754

You deserved it

6243

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/2/2013 16:13 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36638

You deserved it

4495

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2010 02:11 - Israel

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37915

You deserved it

6416

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20473

You deserved it

52577

Tweet

Share

By me - 12/3/2012 02:49 - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29966

You deserved it

3551

Tweet

Share

By AndI'veHadChildren - 10/10/2017 17:15 - United States

Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4459

You deserved it

205

Tweet

Share

By hardtoignore - 3/10/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10099

You deserved it

45016

Tweet

Share

By lovebigmacs - 6/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16079

You deserved it

41784

Tweet

Share

By needlessly hungry - 10/3/2019 20:00

Today, when I tried to give blood, I was turned down before I even made it through the information packet. Why? Because I had thought I was supposed to fast for 24 hours beforehand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

908

You deserved it

3303

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/8/2013 16:45 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48732

You deserved it

11237

Tweet

Share

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8179

You deserved it

36099

Tweet

Share

By Manu - 14/2/2017 09:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5663

You deserved it

1548

Tweet

Share

By Yeah-It's-Just-Me - 1/1/2015 00:52 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32210

You deserved it

2635

Tweet

Share

By waytootan - 22/8/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35860

You deserved it

3106

Tweet

Share

By oofouchmyvagooter - 6/10/2019 16:00

The Rupture

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2190

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By stoopidRUnner - 24/2/2009 02:15 - United States

Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65467

You deserved it

13454

Tweet

Share

By asdfBUTT - 6/3/2012 01:36 - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9441

You deserved it

32013

Tweet

Share

By cold-n-stinky - 12/1/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31682

You deserved it

9232

Tweet

Share

By brokeandalone - 21/11/2011 02:05 - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51205

You deserved it

3994

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/1/2012 14:17 - United States

Today, I noticed a man in my neighborhood waving at me. I don't talk to him often so I excitedly waved back. Turns out he was trying to warn me of the car about to hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29821

You deserved it

4424

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 08:30 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38768

You deserved it

3668

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/6/2016 23:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I came home to my wife packing a bag. We had been fighting recently and I understood why she was leaving, but then I noticed she wasn't packing her stuff. She explained that I was the one who was leaving, she was just packing my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14555

You deserved it

2217

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2015 16:48 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22300

You deserved it

4011

Tweet

Share

By WasFeelingGood - 27/10/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43509

You deserved it

3525

Tweet

Share

By veggiedude - 8/5/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38586

You deserved it

6575

Tweet

Share

By heaventlyassbutt - 30/11/2016 12:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10878

You deserved it

979

Tweet

Share

By asdf - 20/6/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46489

You deserved it

5332

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 3/2/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I spent nearly an hour thawing out my car and driving to work in this stupid freezing rain, only to find out that I'm now unemployed due to budget cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30847

You deserved it

2307

Tweet

Share

By Jordid - 19/8/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62519

You deserved it

4177

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36383

You deserved it

7340

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By rieebee | 23

#6212405 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:42

Dragons are awesome, who cares what others think.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6212411 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:47

Hopefully you didn't get so nervous that you started to Hiccup.

Of course if a guy ever laughed at me for liking kid movies then he would become Toothless.

Comments

By rieebee | 23

#6212405 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:42

Dragons are awesome, who cares what others think.

Reply

Noelletakumi | 36

#6212442 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 15:08

That movie is one of my all time favorites. Who gives a shit what the cashier thinks.

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#6212450 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 15:13

Fun fact: it took DreamWorks 90 million hours total to render HTTYD2! (source: Intel) That's over 10000 years. Divided among thousands of machines, of course.

Reply

IceMan11 | 23

#6212452 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 15:15

I feel sorry for anyone that hasn't seen it.

Reply

JMichael | 25

#6212453 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 15:15

Yea who cares OP! I personally love the movie

Reply

LeashaJoy5595 | 28

#6213397 - Wednesday 25 February 2015 7:32

Especially Toothless! I asked my boyfriend a bunch of times to find me a dragon like Toothless. He's just so cute! Totally not just for kids, pffft.

By DonPandon | 15

#6212407 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:45

Even if you had told her, she needed someone to complain with...

By A07 | 48

#6212410 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:46

Stiff upper lip OP, that movie was awesome.

Reply

BlindlyWandering | 17

#6212589 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 17:27

The movie was awesome, the book was too. The book was totally different though.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6212411 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:47

Hopefully you didn't get so nervous that you started to Hiccup.

Of course if a guy ever laughed at me for liking kid movies then he would become Toothless.

Reply

Miss_Chevious | 37

#6212651 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 18:38

and then you would release your night's fury upon that person

By llamarrama01 | 21

#6212412 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:47

No shame it it. I'm 19 and still enjoy aristocats and Oliver and Company.

Reply

LostInTheZone11 | 28

#6212565 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 17:04

Why Should I Worry? Why Should I Care? It's Just Bebopulation
And I Got Street Saviore Faire.

Reply

llamarrama01 | 21

#6212647 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 18:33

The rhythm of the city
But once you get it down
Then you can own this town
You can wear the crown!

Reply

LostInTheZone11 | 28

#6212757 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 19:37

Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
I may not have a dime
But I got street savoire faire

By Cass_x | 22

#6212413 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:48

No kid should be demanding anything. How about she teaches them manners?

By ihartmytdi | 23

#6212416 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:51

Never grow up! Listen to Admiral Ackbar! It's a trap!

By BrittanyChayanne | 14

#6212417 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:52

Hey, I still collect (unnecessary) amounts of Dragon stuff and I'm 19. Nothing wrong with liking something!

By molzipan | 16

#6212418 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:52

If it makes you feel any better op I'm turning 24 soon and have the Toothless doll from build a bear. An awesome thing about being an adult is being able to make childish decisions.

Reply

BrittanyChayanne | 14

#6212422 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:55

That bear is freaking bad ass, I added a roar sound to mine

Reply

molzipan | 16

#6212793 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 20:17

I also put him in the Toothless hoodie. No regrets.

By aylind | 18

#6212421 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 14:53

Don't be embarrassed. Animated movies are wonderful and whoever tells you otherwise can just walk away.