Work: Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there,...

By innocent72 - 19/11/2013 21:07 - United States - Canonsburg

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 745

You deserved it 3 691

Work

Vulture

Late term

Dysfunctional

Tailor Swift

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 07:59

Today, my fiancé has one leg shorter than the other after it was half blown off in the army, and his specially made wedding suit was delivered. They got the leg lengths the wrong way round. The wedding is in two days and he may have to wear his pants backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 71

By Lala - 08/12/2015 08:30 - United States - Denver

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 437

You deserved it 2 155

Yeah, that probably wouldn't work

By Anonymous - 20/03/2020 03:30

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 471

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 989

You deserved it 2 139

By nu_ravers_101 - 27/07/2010 13:56 - United States

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 264

You deserved it 4 047

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 19:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 781

You deserved it 3 008

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 925

You deserved it 3 578

By Jaybird1587 - 03/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 933

You deserved it 2 478

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 23:53 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 870

You deserved it 5 834

By DemiRawrs - 01/05/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 558

You deserved it 4 684

By Yellow an - 26/01/2015 22:19 - United States

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 782

You deserved it 2 925

Turn off

By whatdoesitmatter - 01/10/2013 10:47 - India - Erayu

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 067

You deserved it 11 946

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 2 856

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 041

You deserved it 50 713

By acme - 04/10/2012 06:20 - Israel

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 612

You deserved it 2 766

By samsterling - 13/03/2016 22:30 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 4 162

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 1 134

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 538

You deserved it 70 467

By theatreluver - 05/01/2011 03:15 - United States

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 380

You deserved it 33 480

By janie - 30/01/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 2 392

By hAHAha Halo - 02/08/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 775

You deserved it 5 127

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 147

You deserved it 81 066

Dad jokes FTW!

By rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 217

By Septy - 21/01/2016 18:17 - Spain - M?laga

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 741

You deserved it 1 887

By ebe - 15/05/2019 14:08

Today, my landlord, due to a past of being an asshole and now enhanced with dementia, suddenly jumped down my throat for parking incorrectly in the driveway, because there's no room for their two cars. He hasn't had two cars in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 139

Nice try

By hkbaer - 27/09/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, my dad tried to charge me $3000 for a car that my dead grandma, his mother, left to me in her will. I have to live with this asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 106

By Imdead - 14/09/2018 22:00

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 01:56 - United States - Ithaca

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 2 121

By StairwayToEvan92 - 09/09/2019 22:00

Today, I ran over my third skunk in over 16 days. I should probably return my driver's license to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 430

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 914

You deserved it 13 462

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 452

You deserved it 7 946

By tenniemo - 10/08/2019 14:00

Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 380

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 868

You deserved it 4 106

By leaftheerickson - 21/10/2012 10:31 - United States - Bohemia

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 1 594

By Pauper - 11/01/2010 07:20 - United States

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 790

You deserved it 4 347

By phant776 - 13/05/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 108

You deserved it 9 259

By trooper93 - 18/01/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 4 835

By denied - 11/08/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 8 816

By My spit everywhere - 30/12/2015 07:48 - United States - La Grange Park

Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 874

You deserved it 1 751

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 783

You deserved it 5 646

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Top comments

chocolatelvr 5

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

Hopefully you used those 45 minutes to reflect on your life and made some life-changing decisions. Like finding a job with better scheduling.

MysticMonkey 9

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:04

You have possessed a skill perfect for work. Patience.

tj4234 35

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:02

Did you let anyone know you were there waiting? If not, FYL

awkwardloveannie 28

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:21

don't you mean if so? if not would mean op didn't tell anyone and assumed someone would help them

NeDaroft 5

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:19

No he actually had it right, you're incorrect. It's " if not "

Mauskau 35

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:28

Well if they didn't say anything, it may be a ydi. If they did and still had to wait before being told they'll be rescheduled, then it's a fyl. But if they waited 45 minutes before saying anything then it's a bit of both.

glabberfasted 16

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:46

1 is saying that if they DIDNT let anyone know, FYL. It should be YDI

tj4234 35

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:53

My apologies, it was late when I posted that (even later now I suppose). I meant 'if so'.

tehdarkness 21

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 3:05

There is no room for human error on the Fml site!

Sitting_Ducki 8

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 9:22

Seriously? They told op to wait. If they reminded them they were waiting unless it was for a doctor or something like that it could be seen as being impatient

tj4234 35

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 13:14

Nowhere in the FML does it say they told him to wait. It just says that he waited. Which implies that he may not have said anything.

chocolatelvr 5

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

Hopefully you used those 45 minutes to reflect on your life and made some life-changing decisions. Like finding a job with better scheduling.

JMichael 25

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:00

Yea hopefully. You don't want to work at a job that's going to waste your precious time. Wait..all jobs do!

michaelaranda 28

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:15

in a bad economy, any job is a good job

ShakenNotStirred 6

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:41

Plot twist: The job interview was for an office admin/meeting scheduler.

BellaBear90 27

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:52

Rubbish plot twist.

adyb 12

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

Maybe it's for the best, this place sounds like a waste of time!

MysticMonkey 9

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:04

You have possessed a skill perfect for work. Patience.

184886837272837 32

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 1:05

Perfect for marriage too... my OP has some very promising traits

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 5:33

ya some employers even test interviewees to make sure they possess patience, even type A personalities. you have to be a well rounded person in the business world.

SnowboarderFX 14

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:04

Are you going to be early to your next interview?

MidnaLink 33

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:25

Who ever said she was late?

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 5:48

op wasn't early. he/she was on time but the interviewer made them wait because they were busy talking to someone else. pretty shitty of them in my opinion.

SnowboarderFX 14

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 19:26

Exactly, she was on time and not early. Ever heard the phase 'if you're early you're on time and if you're on time you're late'? Or 'if you're not x minutes early, you're x minutes late'?

thehumanlyhuman 7

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:04

Well, this FML sounds more like a "darn my life." Unless you cancelled a lot of important things for that interview, I can't picture it being too life-changing.

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:07

Be on time next time around, punctuality is an asset.

pandarammer 7

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:09

Pretty sure OP was on time.

BlockOfRedStone 25

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:12

The post doesn't really suggest that OP wasn't on time

JustinCredible42 12

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Thursday 21 November 2013 0:40

-_-

Dallasluver19 14

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:10

That would piss me off.

daniel_dd31 13

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:11

So unfair sometimes. If you came 45 minutes late they wouldn't even let you have the interview. You come in time, wait 45 minutes and you have to reschedule.

AnOriginalName 19

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:24

Probably because the possible employer holds all the power in this situation. Like a job and money.

Leewannabe 10

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:13

Im sorry, OP, but 45 kind of wasted minutes dont seem that bad. At least not for an FML. Just be glad you didnt find out your brother was your children's father or something;)