By NotDying - 08/04/2015 12:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 721
You deserved it 2 730

NotDying tells us more.

NotDying 4

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. This has actually happened to me a few times before. I have a strange medical condition that affects my hormones, so that is the most likely culprit. I am seeing quite a few doctors, and none of them are very concerned. They have conducted quite a few tests and nothing was too out of the ordinary. I do not have a tumor (thankfully). To #1, I have been told not to express it because that can encourage my body to produce more milk, but that was quite a nice suggestion. I didn't actually know they did that. :) #3 I am actually not on the pill because I reacted badly to it due to my condition. (I had my period for 5 months straight. Yeah, that wasn't very fun) Also, to everyone suggesting I may be pregnant, my purity ring would beg to differ ;P Again, thanks for the concern and the laughs :) but the situation is under control. Bye!

Top comments

You can always use one of those milking machines (no idea about the English term sorry) and give it away. I believe there are hospitals who collect this for moms who have trouble lactating.


You can always use one of those milking machines (no idea about the English term sorry) and give it away. I believe there are hospitals who collect this for moms who have trouble lactating.

I could be wrong, but I believe the term is "expressing milk".

guckylynn 19

A breast pump. You generally don't start lactating out of nowhere, so her "milk" probably doesn't have any type of nutritional value. It sounds like a weird side effect to something.

Why was 9 down voted? We call it expressing milk here in England. Also, if OP starts expressing the milk it will encourage her body to produce more, so that is probably not the best idea.

He's getting down voted because #1 was asking what the breast pump was called.

As a mom of a nipple picky 9 month old who pumps 30 ounces of milk a day I wouldn't wish this on anyone. My baby prefers bottles but the benefits of breast milk are too great to pass up. My baby is the healthiest person my household and is rarely ever sick. However the machine is pure evil and I am going to beat it like they did the printer in Office Space in two months when I can switch her over to cows milk. Visit a doctor OP. They will find out what is going on and help you. Do not pump it out. It hurts.

michaelm1290 23

In the medical field, we call this galactorrhea. Some people have mentioned this could be from a tumor, and yes this is correct -- notably pituitary prolactinomas. This can also arise from taking certain medications, such as ones for treating schizophrenia, mood disorders and antiemetics -- all of which block dopamine (since dopamine is the neurotransmitter that normally suppresses prolactin release from the anterior pituitary mammotroph cells). If it concerns you, consult your physician, perhaps about taking bromocriptine.

OP, I'd only suggest looking into what 70 said. As a fellow medical personal, this is the only advice on this thread that is accurate! Do not listen to other people on here saying you are pregnant or anything else -- they know nothing medical.. no offense everyone.

70, that's the most intelligent comment I've ever seen on fml. Congrats. ?

Well, I did say the exact same thing, basically.

70 do you know why vision problems arise with this ??

michaelm1290 23

With benign pituitary adenomas, such as the prolactinoma I mentioned above, the pituitary gland significantly enlarges. As it enlarges, it can impinge on the optic chiasm. Without getting into too much detail on how vision is processed, the result of this impingement is what we call bitemporal hemianopsia -- which is a fancy way of saying that half of the vision field (the ear-half of the visual field, as opposed to the nose-half) in both eyes is absent.

correct. prolactin is the specific hormone.

if you really want your baby healthy you shouldn't switch her over to cows milk. dairy isn't actually good for us. it causes more harm than good.

NutellaBear 3

There is also the chef in NYC that was cooking with human milk.... Fettuccini Alfreeda, yum!

NutellaBear 3

You prefer a teething 9 month old gnawing on your nipples over the breast pump? Interesting. You should *LOVE* the breast pump! On a positive note, Nestlé has released a Nespresso machine that makes baby formula from capsules. Tell me the hubby isn't going to be broadly smiling over his next Latte!

ShirtlessWonder 17

#148 uh... you might want to do a little more reading up on nutrition there, friend. Dairy (assuming it's from a good animal and nothing is added besides probiotics) is very good for you, especially if it's fermented.

Better than being pregnant AND having milk at 16, now that would be the dynamic trio

This is actually a serious problem. I was talking to my professor about this and he said that a tumor can form in her brain that blocks something and will make her produce milk. I would go gets this checked out ASAP OP.

@33 in the pituitary gland this happened to my wife and has also caused fertility issues. It can also affect your vision. Op should talk to her dr about checking her prolactin levels.

Are you on a birth control pill? Because I hear that can be a side effect sometimes. Don't you just love being a woman?

Fatfairygoth 11

Depo injection can cause it. The bastard.

That's really rare but it can happen. I hope you go see a doctor soon!

Happened to my friend too, but turned out to be an extreme overproduction of yeast instead.

My best friend had this happen and it turned out to be a benign tumor on her pituitary gland. She just takes a medication once a week and everything is fine.

Look on the bright side, you won't have to buy drinks for a while! But in all seriousness, I don't know if this is normal, or healthy, so you should probably see a doctor if you haven't already. I hope you're okay though!

you should get checked out by a doctor, that is a sign of a tumor

Not necessarily, it may be harmonal or side effect of any medication.

i think i'm not clear in above comment. i said not necessarily its sign of tumor only 'it may be because of harmonal imbalance or medicinal reaction. consult your doctor to know exact reasons.

usmc_sean 8

Sorry but this doesn't seem normal in the least. Get checked out ASAP.

Are you 100% positive you're not pregnant?

guckylynn 19

You don't make breastmilk while pregnant. Just a clear fluid called colostrum.

Even if she is pregnant breast become ready to produce milk after 5-6 months. Initially it was collastum followed by milk. Mostly harmones kicks lactation after delivery only.

So the real question here is: are you 100% sure you didn't just give birth?

guckylynn 19

I'm 9 months pregnant and I won't produce milk until my placenta detaches and my body produces the hormones to make milk.

#51... when I was pregnant with my first child I started lactating @ 1 month AND producing milk, I also had mastitis @ 7 months pregnant due to so much milk production... it can happen :)