Intimacy: Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching...

By Fattie - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Malaysia

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 282

You deserved it 14 303

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 643

You deserved it 3 022

You dipstick!

By mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 057

You deserved it 40 468

Another fine mess

By MikeMoosey - 30/12/2008 18:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 25 444

OK Shaggy

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Randolph

Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 116

By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 805

You deserved it 22 647

Whoomp whoomp

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 698

You deserved it 54 485

By crazytortise - 06/10/2016 02:40 - United States

Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 617

You deserved it 1 673

By fuckingjesusgran - 07/05/2013 22:13 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 193

You deserved it 3 563

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 566

You deserved it 3 877

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 569

You deserved it 5 087

deja54 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:45

" I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady..." Oh I bet you did.

epicfail13337 4

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:37

HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.

Comments

Ox_Baker 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:34

How is this any way bad for you?

fml1222 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:44

did u pounce on that?

caneut 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:56

first

djb23 0

Friday 10 July 2009 0:32

old people need love too

Failzoid 0

Friday 10 July 2009 1:30

Uh. No dude. No you aren't first. Please learn how to count :) Also. Hot damn. Squirt her again you beast. ;)

Karya_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 12:53

#43, thanks for making me laugh. And @ OP, be kind, it might be only squirting she can have now.

pongmaster 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 6:17

hahahaha best FML ever

fireflies2012 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 19:20

18 fail

owneditup 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 8:12

in case u didn't notice 18 is joking, he commented on the first meaning he obviously knew he wasn't, learn how to understand a joke...

SoccerForTheWin 5

Tuesday 10 January 2012 5:13

HEY! #1 is Sarah Jessica Parker

528Alice491 3

Sunday 30 September 2012 1:40

That's awesome. How many people can say they got a lady to moan simply by squirting her? Even if it is with gasoline, and even if she is old. Older with more experience. Double points to you my friend!

Nat52482 25

Monday 12 May 2014 14:04

Because that's creepy lol

Everlasting_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:35

O_O.. Creepy.

Cjw1220 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:06

I took it out and squirted a little on the old lady, that's what he said!

Jambone2 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:36

Congrats on being a granny magnet.

epicfail13337 4

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:37

HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.

dancin303 0

Friday 10 July 2009 19:38

you can say it. theres many words for it to. but one of the more common is penis. say it with me. p-e-n-i-s. or dick or **** or balls. and if you want to be a little more creative weiner. :D and yes we all know.

Wheats62 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 11:51

Yellow?

dopefresh 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 5:08

@96 lmao made my day

munchly 17

Sunday 11 April 2010 8:35

WTF #96? yellow? hahah that isn't the S-P-E-R-M someone has either been pissing in/on their girlfriends or hasn't reached that age yet :P

scarletchamber 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 12:19

sperm....

meanie_monday 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:38

I thought you couldn't overfill the tank because of the pressure censor or whatever it is

Ninja_Cat 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:41

thats what i thought

testing_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:47

He's from Malaysia. I don't think they have those.

mynameisnotstacy 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:50

maybe he overfilled for what she paid for? if she only paid for $10 worth of gas or something...

PsychoX 0

Friday 10 July 2009 0:49

They don't always work. And they don't detect pressure, they detect when the gas backs up in the filler line the whole way back to the nozzle, if there is a glitch it can definitely overflow.